Divided Unity

screw it.

You know how hard I tried.

Failing wasn't what was willed.

But I'm better at keeping promises.

I'd never wish you ill.

*****

You know how hard I tried

Just for a moment of your attention

What courage I had to summon

And pain met with no affection

There's no shoulder I can sob to

No heartbeat for me to sleep lulls

Purging memories is anguish

Every press of Del that culls

I looked into the mirror once more

Found nothing but disdain

For myself, who'd love this?

I ask, over and over again

I'll not call you a liar

In my nature, that isn't there

But I suppose I can admit

It houses my tendencies and despair

The depths my mind dive into

Clockwork purring through the night

Determined to find an answer

Eager to set wrong things right

The cogs and gears are wearing thin

My time here is the dulled shine

Soon there'll be no more left of those

Beautiful thoughts I'll leave behind

What questions go unanswered

Does it matter; maybe no

But one in particular pains me to ask

It cries, "Why is it so?"

Its sentient query ponders on,

It grieves and mourns and sobs for the past

When the time comes that those questions fade

I fear that one will be last

What I've tried multiple times before,

I will not try again

Lest come forth the conditions I've told you before

Do not worry for me, friend

I say not a threat but a warning

Blood's on your hands by the time I do it

The olive tree's dying, this noose wears thin

I'll seek another time and place - so screw it.