The Art Of Our Thoughts

The thing about manipulators

I rarely ever write about things that aren't connected to me personally.

And this one hits really close to home.

Have you ever felt like you've been controlled by someone is such a creepy yet hurtful way?

You do everything they tell you to do, even if it hurts you, and even if it makes you uncomfortable, but you do it anyway?

That's exactly what manipulators do. And looking back at it, it's scary as hell.

I've only ever experienced being mentally and emotionally bullied once, and the thing about this sort of bullying, you don't really realize you're being so until it all passes and you deal with facing your mental health, and wonder how in the world you're going to save it.

It makes you feel almost like you're strapped into a chair, you keep pulling and trying to break free, but the restraints are way too strong, and day after day you're becoming more damaged and drained.

Everything is your fault, when most of the times it isn't. But you can't say no, you can't push back, and I didn't understand why back then.

Why couldn't I say no?

I'm not sure if I would rather have not met that person, or glad to have did.

The thing is, that I met that person, and I lost so many people, and so much of myself, but at the same time I'm not as gullible or as naive as before,

  Everything I went through, made me grounded, made me sharper, and I guess that's what I'm most grateful for.
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Dedicated to: N.M., my own personal manipulator.

-S.S.