*Zayn's POV*
I walk back to the house and sigh. I really don't want to be here, but I have to be. I can't be in... that place with him. He had hurt me after a million of times him telling me that he wouldn't. I tried my best to believe he loved me, so much but I should have known it would end lips this. It always does. The world never wants me to be happy, so this is what I get.
I open the door and close it lightly. I don't know if anyone is awake or such as. I hear footsteps come out the kitchen, revealing my mother. She smiles weakly at me before opening her loving arms. I nod and walk towards her, taking in her comfort. I missed this. So fucking much.
"Hey babyboy... why are you here?" I shake my head, really not wanting to talk about it right now. I guess she understands becase she doesn't push it any father than it is now. And I'm really glad she doesn't. I now hear footsteps coming down the stairs and that voice makes me cringe.
"Doniya wants to know if she can get up and move now. She says he back is killing her." I turn around and see the face I really don't want to see anymore, or like ever in my life. He smiles and waves to me.
"Tell her no. Oh, Zayn, did you want to see her?" I nod and follow Ryan up the stairs. He opens Doniya's door and I smile big. Its good to see her again and all, but why the hell is he here!?
"Hey Zayn!" I smile and sit on the oppisite side of the bed as her. I want to ask so bad, but I don't want to come off as a dick right away. I'm to be here for her and help her out, not be rude. She hugs while I hug her back, sighing into her shoulder. "What happened?"
I pull away and try to at least smile. "Its really nothing. Just caught Liam makeing out with some girl he just met that day on OUR couch. But ya know, no big deal." Her face drops and something fills her eyes that I just can't describe.
"Zayn that is a big deal! Why would he do that?" I shrug my shoulders and play with her hair.
"Can we just not talk about it?" She sighs but not in defeat. I see Ryan sit on the other side and smile at me. I smile back but it soon drops. He sighs and stand right back up.
"Hey, can we please talk?" I nod and walk to my room with him behind me. I sit on my bed and pat a seat next to me for him to sit. He takes my offer and begins to speak.
"You know, I never really meant to hurt you. I swear! And I know that you will never believe me, and I don't really expect you too. I just want you to hear me out, yeah? When I moved, I thought I would never ever see you ever again to tell you this. But I really did love you. For all those times I bullied you, or said that I didn't love you, none of that was true. They threatened me that if I didn't do that, they would tell my mom. And you don't know this, but she hates people who love the same gender. That's why I was so afraid of being called names that people call gays or whatever.
"I was afraid my mother would find out, and then send me away. I'm so sorry of everything that I did to you. I never wanted to make your life a living hell or anything like that. I just thought about how you felt, and literally I wanted to... end? Like, end my life because of it. And I know that's a senitive subject for you, so I'll stop. Just please, can we be friends?" I look at him and I can feel my mouth being read to drop, but I don't let it. Is he serious? He's waited all this time just to say this to me?
And then I do and unexplainable thing. I lean over and kiss him on his pink lips. I close my eyes and leave my lips there for a second. I know he's shocked, but then he reacts and kisses me back. I don't feel those butterflies that I get with Li- him, but I need a distraction. I lay him down and get on top of him, holding his face in my hands. His hands run up and down my sides, but then stops and pulls away from me.
"Zayn... we can't."
"No Ryan, we can." I kiss him again but he pushes me away this time.
"No we can't! You just got hurt again, this isn't good for you. Plus I just want to be friends again. I would love to kiss you and love you everyday again, but its better if we just stay friends. Besides, you're better off with Liam then me." I smile and hug him tightly. I've never seen this side of Ryan before, and I'm kinda liking it.
"Thank you Ryan! And of course we can be friends! It might take me awhile to get used to this, but we can be friends. I would love that." He hugs me back and I get off of him.
"Now let's go make some brownies like your mom asked me to make about 2 hours ago. Your sisters will be home pretty soon and hungry." I laugh and grab his hand, run in down the stairs to the kitchen. I might not have those kinds of feelings for Ryan anymore. But I think being his friend will be a good impact on my life. Or at least I hope it will be.
"Well I see you two are now friends again." I nod and hug my mom.
"We're going to make those brownies now. So... GET OUT THE KITCHEN!" Ryan yells, causing my mom to laugh and walk away. I smile and pull out the ingredents. He gets out the large bowl and we start. I hope this is going to be a happy start with our new relationship.
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AWE THEIR FRIENDS AGAIN! Yeah... I don't really have that much to say now... #RAYN IS A GO! Not really... BUT! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and please don't forget to vote for me of you hated it! And leave me one of those comments telling me to eat shit! XD not really though... don't do that... LOVE YA, KISS KISS! ♥
Random Question: What's your favorite time of the year?
Love, MaliksGirl90 xxxx
P.S IM SORRY ITS SHORT
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To Love and Lost {Ziam Paylik}
FanfictionZayn Malik is an average kid living a normal life. Since a little kid, Zayn never had many friends. He was always the quite kid and was bullied constantly. He has depression, anxiety, and he selfharms. His mother has no idea what Zayns life is like...
