To Love and Lost {Ziam Paylik}

Chapter Fifty-Five

*Zayn's POV* (a week later)

It was lovly meeting Liam's parents, they were super sweet and nice to me on the first night. It didn't really hurt me when his mom asked me about my childhood, I was actually happy that she did. Because I do feel like it gets easier and easier the more and more that I do talk about it. I don't feel bad about my past, I'm proud of it. It has made me the strong and happy person that I am today. And never do I want to take any of it back.

Liam on the other had was terrified when his mom kept bring the subject up. He would hurry and start a whole new conversation when she asked me about it. But I brushed it off and answered all of her questions. I did shead a few tears but I was very strong talking about it. She also gave me a few tips on things as such because she helped Ruth go through it as well. And they were really helpful. Most of them were on the nightmares that I've been having, and its actually been helpful when they got really bad. I don't know why they started up again, but she said it would happen because its back in my memory and will strick when I talk more and more about it. But she said that it does really help. I'm just hoping they help to were they stop all at once. They've go from okay to bad with a snap. One time I sat there and watched Liam dying in my arms and there was nothing I could do to help him. I was so scared Liam literally had to shake.me to wake me up and when I did wake up, I was covered in sweat and my tears. I never experienced something that terrifying in my entire life. I couldn't lose him, he's my life.

Most of the nights I lay wide awake, just waiting for the next nightmare to strick me. But as long as Liam held me, everything was okay. We would stay up late and watch movies and snake on food until one of us would passout. Then we would carry the other to the bedroom and you know after that. We would lay down and cuddle as we wait to drift into our own sleep. But it was hard for me at time. I didn't want to wake Liam up with all my screaming and crying. So some nights I don't get any sleep what's so ever. But its okay, I learn to juse work with what I got. The last week I believe I only gotten about 21 hours of sleep. Some nights I would lay awake because I was scaring them with my nightmares. They told me it was okay, but I felt as if it wasn't. I was taken away their sleep because of my selfish needs.

So here I am, laying awake in bed with Liam cuddled into my side, sleeping his night away. I'm playing with his hair and staring at the celing as the dark surrounds take me in. I feel my eyes get heavier with every thought I have, leaving me close them ever so slightly. But I quickly ooen them back up, not wanting to ruin Liam's perfect sleep. He needs it, he's been so stressed and worked up latly over my nightmares that some ngihts he wouldn't get any sleep either. But I then close my eyes, hoping to get some rest without the worried of a nightmare getting ready to strick me at any moment...

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I walk down the street, amiring all the Christmas lights and decorations people have started to set up. It looked so beautiful as the lights had started to light up the street. I smile and continue down the road, getting some sneak and peaks of the lights. It was extremely quick which was not really normal for a Friday night. Most would be out celebrating for the weekend and getting drunk as they live their lives down. But no one is out, you could hear a pin drop as its that quite.

I cover my self up with my coat as I feel the December wind start to pick up. I see my breath as it is that cold, reminding me I haven't had a smoke all day. I pull out my smokes and light one up, sticking it in my mouth and I rub my hands together, yelling at myself mentally for not bringing my gloves. I take in a deep breath and blow it out, feeling myself now relax as this deadly toxin fills my lungs.

I hear screaming come which causes me to turn around, next being knocked down to the ground. I let out a groan and open my eyes. I see Liam standing there with a worried look on his face. His head whips around as he beings to pull me up and drag me with him to where ever he was going. And it just had to be a dark alley way.