To Love and Lost {Ziam Paylik}

Chapter Five

*Zayn's POV*

Its been a week since I moved into Liam's sisters house with him. I told him I could just go and get my clothes, but he insisted to buy me new ones. We have also gotten really close to each other. We laugh and things as such everyday, things I thought I could never do again. He's told me things he never told anyone before and I told him things. But the only thing I didn't tell him was that I'm gay. I couldn't tell him, because I hated myself for being it. Liam didn't have any problem with being gay, because everyone loves him. He's to perfect to be hated.

"So Zayn, if you don't mind me asking, what's your love life like?" Me and Liam were sitting up in his room. He sat over on the floor by the outlet so he could charge his phone and I sat on his bed. I forgot to mention, I haven't cut for a week. That's the longest I've gone and I'm really proud. Yes it was hard, but its all worth it. Liam really is helping me.

"I've only had one real relationship, not to many people like me. But Ryan broke up with me." I sigh and remembered Ryan. He was my everything. He made me happy and love life. But once people found out about us, they hated us and called us names. Ryan broke up with me and went on their said, calling me names and that he never loved me. That's when this whole thing started. Me cutting and getting bullied. I felt tears filling my eyes but not letting them out. That was 5 years ago, I can't cry over him anymore.

"What happened? Why did she break up with you?" I laughed a bit when he said she. He gave me a confused look. He was really lost.

"I didn't want to tell you, because I hate who I am. But it wasn't a girl, Liam. It was a guy." Liams eyes widened for a mintues but the looked at me normally now. He stood up and sat next to me on my bed.

"Why do you hate yourself? Just because you wanted to try something new doesn't mean you have to beat yourself down. Being bisexual isn't bad, Zayn." Once again, I gave him a weak laugh.

"I'm gay, Liam. I wasn't trying something new, I knew my whole life I liked guys. But finally when I started dating one and they turned on me, I hated myself for it. I tried to be bisexual and like girls, but it just didn't help. I don't feel the same as I do with a guy." Liam wrapped his arms around me and I leaned into his chest. He's trying to comfort me, but I don't know if its working. I still hate myself for being gay, but he kinda made it feel aright.

{the next morning}
*Liam's POV*

I remember everything from last night. From Zayn telling me he was gay, to him telling me about Ryan. I don't even know the kid and I already hate him. How could he do that to Zayn? He was so perfect! So perfect that it that it hurts. He hates being gay. But I won't judge him, there are a lot of people in this world who hate you for dating the same sex.

When I told my fans that I was gay, they were shocked. There was a lot of hate but then it stopped. They realized that I was still the same person on stage. I just had a different sexuality than most people.

I was currently making breakfast with Ruth. Zayn was still asleep in my bed. After a long night, I let his sleep there. I just walked and sleep in his current room. "Liam! You're going to burn something if you keep zoning out like that!" I looked at Ruth and she pushed me away before I could say anything. I sat on a stool and watched her. "What's wrong with you? Are you feeling okay?" She asks me.

"I'm fine, Ruth. Its Zayn that I'm worried about. He told me something very personal last night and he hates himself because of what it is. I just feel so bad for him." I don't think Zayn wants anyone to know, let alone me to know he's gay. So I'm not going to tell her.

"I understand, Liam. But your doing really well of taking care of him. You told me that he never laughed and now look at him. He's laughing with you!" I smile. She's right. Zayn never smiled, laughed or been happy until I brought him here. He's changed but not a whole lot.

I heard steps coming down stairs, Zayn's awake. He got to the bottom of the stairs and I nearly choked. He was shirtless and his hair was down. You could see his perfectly schulpted abs and his ribs just a bit. For afar you couldn't see his arms but he was still perfect no matter what. He was rubbing his eyes and then he walked over to us.

"Good morning, Zayn. Sleep well?" Ruth asks. He nods and sits next to me. I smile at him and he gives a sleepy smile back. Ruth puts a plate of pancakes, bacon and eggs in front of him. "Thank you." I almost died. His morning voice was like... I don't know but it was fucking perfect.

"Here Liam. Well I have to go shopping today so I will see you later." She messes up my hair and grabs her keys, shutting the door.

We sit there in silence while eating. I wash the plates and Zayn sits there and lays him head on his arm. "What do you want to do today?" I ask him. He yawns and shakes his head. I finish up the dishes and turn to him, leaning on the counter. "I could take you out today. You know, so you could get those clothes I promised to buy you."

"I mean I honestly don't care. But I'm sure it would be fun." He says with a smile. I smile back and head up the stairs, Zayn following behind. I heard him laugh but I shrug it off. I go to my room and pick out an outfit before I heard Zayn call for me. "Liam? Could you come here for a second."

*Zayn's POV*

I was gay. Liam was gay. I liked Liam. I need to get him to like me. I know that I have said I have hated myself for being gay plenty of times, but Liam makes it seem okay. Like nothing was wrong loving who you love. And I love Liam. In the matter of days and touches, I have fallen for Liam and I have fallen hard. So I need him to notice and take me away, sweep me off my feet.

"Liam? Could you come here for a second?"  I hurry and take my sweatpants off and pull out two plaid shirts and two different color skinny jeans. He was a man of plaid, so why not wear what he loves.

Liam walks in and drops a brush in his hand. Well I was standing in my boxers and shirtless, that's a good signal for me. "C-can i-i help y-you?" I walked over to the bed and pulled up the clothes. "Which one should I wear? Like, which one do you think will make me look better?"

Liam looks at me up and down before answering. "The r-red one." I smile and put the other one down. I pull the black jeans up and look back at the door, Liam was still there looking at me. "You know, it won't kill you to ask to touch them." Liam looks down and mumbles "Can i-i?" I laugh and walk over to him. I pick up his hand and place it on my stomache/abs. He tense at first but relaxs at the touch. I move him hand up and down before he pulls his hand away.

"Ummm might want to get r-ready." He turns and runs out the room. I laugh and pull the shirt over my head before fixing my hair. I'm to lazy to put it up today, to I run my hand through my hair, leaving it down.

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Awe, is little Liam getting all worked up? xD He's so cute when he's embarassed. Well thank for the read and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please don't forget to vote and comment for me lovlys! (:

Random question: What bands do you listen to? I listen to a lot of bands. What can I say? BANDS ARE LIFE!

Love, MaliksGirl90 xxxx