inspired by 107dlr 's yip arc resuscitation :) (also pretty much dedicated to them :))
third person limited following Eijun
if he couldn't pitch properly, what could he do? he couldn't field, catch pitches. hell, he couldn't even bat that good. what was left for him to do?
he knew very well that if he didn't somehow come out of this slump and continue regular practice, he wouldn't make the cut for the first string, let alone become the ace like he dreamed of doing.
his seniors weren't doing a lot to help him, and if he were anyone else, Eijun knew that he'd be upset with them for doing that. but he wasn't really in his right mind. he knew he wasn't in a good place. he could barely eat proper, full meals. he couldn't sleep.
so, he runs. Eijun hasn't touched a baseball in more than a week. he's just been running. through practice, before practice, after practice. running seems to be keeping him grounded.
he can't seem to look in a mirror lately. his eyes look too hollow for his once always happy face. circles under his eyes are too dark for him to stand looking at them.
overall, he isn't doing the best.
but (y/n). . (y/n) has been helping somewhat. she's just always there for him, even when she doesn't need to be. she's working with him in class, asking him random questions that have nothing to do with the work they were given. she takes his mind off his worries - even if only for a minute or two - and he's become a little dependant on her. he's leaning on her - a lot - but he doesn't even care anymore (well, neither does she).
(y/n) is his sanity, at the moment. as unhealthy as that sounds. but he just. . . couldn't really bring himself to care anymore.
***
once again, for the ninth night in a row, Eijun left his dorm in the middle of the night to go run. it made him tired so he could sleep, even if only for a little. his mind was always chattering away, so he barely found relief from that during the day.
"Eijun?" he heard from behind him. said boy slowly turned around and saw (y/n). she was standing in what was most likely her pajamas; a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. she wore socks and sandals, but no jacket. the night wind was a little chilly, so she hugged her torso, trying to cover up her bare arms.
"oh, hey (y/n)," he said quietly.
"Eijun what are you doing out here this late?" she asked him. "you should be sleeping."
"well, what are you doing out here this late?" he asked back. "i'm out here to run! i've gotten catch up to everyone else somehow! ahah ahaha!" his laugh was loud, sure, but it was out of place. his face was blank and the awkward smile on his lips didn't look quite right. his eyes, which always smiled with his lips, were dark and hollow and. . empty.
"Eijun, you know you don't have to do that with me, right?" her voice was soft and gentle. "could you not sleep, love?"
if he was his regular self, his face would have flushed pink at her nickname. but Eijun just shrugged half heartedly, shaking his head.
"oh, Eijun," she whispered. she stepped forward slowly, wrapping her arm around his torso. he was stunned and stiff, but he slowly relaxed into the warmth she gave off. "it's okay to not be okay, you know? it's okay to have bad days and bad weeks and even bad months. but you'll get better. it'll get better with time, i promise."
Eijun was barely hearing her words. he was too focused on how right he felt like this. he hasn't felt right in a while. but here, with (y/n), he felt okay. not good or great, just okay. the way her head fit just under his chin and her soft hands gripping his shirt lightly. he could smell the shampoo she used and her hair tickled his lips as it stood out every which way.
"how did you find me?" he asked quietly, finally wrapping his arms around her back.
"i was coming back from the bathroom. your footsteps are not the quietest, you know." she breathed out her nose in amusement.
"thank you," he mumbled, resting his head on her shoulder. "for being here for me. i just. . i think i needed this." he sighed in content, closing his eyes briefly to bask in the moment.
"any time, Eijun. i'll always be here for you. i know things like this aren't easy to talk about and get over. but i'm here for you. your friends are here for you. just know you aren't alone, okay? you never will be." she squeezed him tightly for a moment, before pulling away.
Eijun missed her warmth immediately, and finally realized just how chilly it had gotten outside.
"now, how 'bout you go back to your dorm and sleep? you were basically falling asleep on my shoulder," she teased lightly. "good night, Eijun."
"goodnight, (y/n)." he raised a hand in a small wave as he watched her walk away. she did the same, smiling widely until she was out of sight.
he wasn't exactly better now. the yips don't go away just like that. but he felt a little bit more optimistic than before. he felt a tiny bit more confident that he'd get through this.
with (y/n) by his side, he felt invincible.
—————-
i know that the yips are not something you get over quickly, and that's not what i'm trying to say in the oneshot. i'm just trying to explain that when you feel like someone is with you - for every step of the way - i think you'd feel a little better about your situation. i think you'd feel as if it's worth it - getting better.
i'm in no way trying to say that this isn't a big problem in Eijuns life. it clearly is. but when you have someone with you, a lot of things seem more doable, you know?
i'm not sure if i did any justice with this oneshot, but as 107dlr pointed out in their book burn out (which i strongly suggest you go read!!! now!!!), Eijuns yip arc didn't get as much justice as it could have gotten. it was clearly a bigger problem then it was portrayed as, and the way people dealt with it in the manga/anime could have been done way better.
anyhow, i hope you enjoyed this oneshot. i haven't done one like this in a while, i think, so it was a little new to me. tell me what you think of it! what i could do better for next time! whatever comes to mind!
comment down any requests you have and i'll make them happen!!!
see you soon,
goodbye!
