MagCon Imagines

Matthew Espinosa

hello hope you all missed me

this is depressing but i've never written a sad one and im kinda shit at it
IM THINKING ABOUT WRITING AN IMAGINE BASED OFF MY CRUSH AND I'S STORY LMAO LETS SEE

Laurenas P.O.V


I sat.and I waited.

and waited.
and waited.

and waited.
I don't know why I still waited.
It has been 2 weeks and Matt was still in a coma. My once smiling, beautiful, amazing boyfriend, was now lying in a hospital bed asleep.
Unable to think.
Unable to moveUnable to talk
Unable to tell me what hes feeling.

I haven't left, I mean i have left to grab a quick snack and to go to the bathroom but I haven't gone home. Ive been sleeping in this uncomfortable two hospital chairs I pushed together to make a bed, the nurses offered me a spot in a different bed, but I declined. Not like I was getting much sleep anyways. I wanted to be the first too see him when he woke up. His parents visisted every night because they had to work to pay the medical bills, and I could tell it tore them up. The way there eyes had a glossy sheen over it but never let a tear slip because they wanted to stay brave for him.

God I loved them.

It sucks honestly. This feeling of helplessness. I wanted to tell Matt everything and I felt ignored as selfish as it sounds.
Not ignored in a sense like "why wont you answer me its not like your brain is shut down" but in the sense that my thoughts and prayers have been ignored.
Hes not getting better, they still show no brain activity.

It was 11pm and i decided to get my nightly hour of sleep.

I was quickly woken up by a rapid beeping and a shaking vigoursuly Matt.

And it was like everything was in slow motion. Nurses came bursting through the door crowding around him, whil I felt my brain about to explode. I started screaming as loud as I possibly could because there was nothing else I could do, Everything had ghost marks behind them as they move. I was lost and confused. Something grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the room and bringing me into a different room.

They tried to calm me down but I couldn't stop thinking where is Matt is he okay what the fuck is going on.

I fell to my knees banging my fists on the ground and letting out uncontrollable sobs, thinking "this is it"
i dont know how to show how I feel, Im sitting on the floor screeching my lungs out, but you cant even fucking hear me my whole world is falling, breaking apart into pieces. And I don't know what I should do.
  and then I blacked out

I woke up in the car with Matt.

He was laughing at his own stupid joke, and I was laughing even harder because he was laughing. It was such a blissful moment.
I started singing Taylor Swifts song "Shake it Off" in a screamo voice and Matt threw his head back in laughter, squeezing his eyes tight. Not realizing what was on the road, and what was on the road was a red light on our lane and a semi truck coming towards the other way.

I blacked out again and woke up.

My mom was holding an ice pack to my head and I woke up.

I quickly shoved it off her and got up

"Wheres Matt?" I asked frantically.

"Baby please sit down."

"Pleas- mom please." I said starting to sob.

"He, he had a brain anyuresm and Matt passed away baby."

And I stopped.
I stopped sobbing
I stopped breathing
I stopped feeling
I stopped living
Those 3 words, killed me.

I sat for about three hours staring blankly into space. My mom trying to talk to me non stop about how its okay to cry and how I can say goodbye to him right now. But I can't look at him. I don't have any words, or pictures or anything but his face will forever be in my mind just the mere thought of him makes my insides go crazy, the way he smiled, the way he laughed, him.
And I'm sitting here thinking the hardest part about loosing someone isn't having to say goodbye but rather learning to live without them. His face will always be in my mind and I don't know how the fuck I'm going to live everyday with a smile on my face knowing he can no longer be a reason for that smile. How the thought of him will forever be a mere thought and I can't hold or touch him ever again.

...................

its been 3 months and I'm trying so hard to erase the image of you engraved into my mind, why cant I forget the scent of your skin and the taste of your chapstick on my lips. And I still sometimes blame myself for your death, maybe if I didn't want to hear your loud laugh and watch your perfectly curved teeth light up in a smile you wouldn't be gone and youd be in my arms.

But you aren't

this was so shitty im so sorry there will be a better one but i was in the mood to write with cute poems so i love you all please message me if you have any ideas but I will NOT be doing any requests for a whilexoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo