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chapter forty-five. rufus getting married
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Some say love is a river. Some say love's a silly song. Some say love is all around us. It lifts us up where we belong. Some say love is hearing laughter in the rain. But on the Upper East Side, we all know love is pain.
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VICTORIA FELT AS though she was stuck. It was quite odd, especially when her pregnant bump remained growing, she was still getting older and things for her were changing. But she felt ultimately stuck, as if she wasn't moving anywhere, that was all because of Nate Archibald. Victoria felt that her world was stuck in one place, not moving forward and it definitely wasn't moving backwards. It was as if her feet were glued to the ground. She knew Nate wasn't stuck, he had simply moved on to another relationship where he had the chance of blooming. Victoria hadn't moved on. Simply because. . .she felt as though her heart remained beating for the Archibald. Somedays were better than others, but on this day, she didn't know why her heart fluttered or why her head ached.
She felt it was wrong that she thought about reuniting with Nate. He moved on. But love couldn't just vanish, especially when she had experienced many hurdles with him, solidifying the love she has for him. The last hurdle? Well, she was the one who didn't jump over it. Nate did, but she didn't. Of course the entirety of her body felt as though it was her fault. Well, it was simple to say it was her fault. If she hadn't ran away to Oxford, her and Nate would've been together and she wouldn't feel the need that she too had to move on.
How was she to move on? Could she even imagine herself moving on? It was hard, when her heart still thumped against her chest for Nathaniel. He was on her mind too many times in the day. How was his relationship going with Bree? Are they for the long haul? Well, as he mentioned her, Victoria felt as though it was a slap in her face and a reminder of what she ruined. She couldn't bare to see Nate and Bree on the front covers of newspaper that were shocked that rivalries in politics had found a connection amongst their family feud. Victoria actually tore that newspaper in half and chucked it into the trash.
Her mind spoke Nate's name too much. NateNateNate. Somedays it felt wrong, and somedays it felt right. That morning? It felt slightly wrong. Victoria didn't know why as her and Miles Hawthorne were business partners, looking to sell more of her art and put her on the map of the art world. There was to be nothing intimate between the both of them. Miles suggested coffee that morning, and he knew that Victoria couldn't have such high caffeine that he had bought her tea. He wanted a moment alone with her, away from Riven who seemed to be lurking at every corner, even when he was supposed to dealing with his final year at Yale.
