The Colour of Sadness

i am (not) afraid to love

After all the things he's done for her, after all the feelings that threaten to suffocate him, he can't say it.

He's loved her at her worst, at her best, at her lowest, at her highest, he's loved her, regardless of the blood on her hands, regardless of the darkness hiding in the corner of her eyes, he's loved her.

But he can't say that he does.

Everyone loves her, but no one can love her  the way he does.

You say you are the one, but yet you deny it?

He waits for the right time, but time waits for no one.

Before he knows it, she's a step in front of him.

Then two.

Three.

Four.

Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, her shadow is dissipating into the blinding light.

She's leaving him.

Time waits for no one, and fate takes pity on none.

He doesn't get to say it back to her, he never does.

He should have, back then in that empty hallway.

They knew, they all knew, she would be the sacrifice, it was an unspoken agreement.

An agreement he did not agree with.

He would stop her.

Or die with her.

"Don't do it."

"I have to. It was my fault, after all, so I have to end this."

He knows without looking at her eyes that they are burning, burning with that fire only she had, burning to her death, it is consuming her, and he doesn't want that.

Flames that burn the brightest never last.

" I- "

"Listen."

"I...liked all of you. And I'm so grateful, we all had a chance to be friends, I'm so happy. But you know...out of all of them, I liked you best."

"So if I die, it's probably for you."

He doesn't see it coming-

"If I die, it's probably because-"

I love you-

"I love you."

So please don't die.

He wants to say it back, he wants to, he wants to and his mouth is begging for his lips to form the words, longing to taste her name on his tongue.

But he can't, he can't or more like he can but he's too weak to carry the weight of those words.

Then, she says something that he can never forget.

"Right now - "

"I'm so in love that I don't even fear death."

So am I.

I wouldn't mind dying with you.

But he doesn't have the courage to say it, so all he can do is grab at the torn shreds of her shirt, as she slips through his fingers, dissolving into the white light.

I wanted to be with you a little longer.

Author's Note
I wrote this after reading tower of god, when daniel flashbacked to roen's sacrifice and she said "I'm so in love I don't even fear death" it really hit me hard so I had to write something for them with that one quote included hahah.