The Colour of Sadness

softly, like the sound of sanity breaking

Cross my heart, hope to die
To my saviour, I swear I'd never lie

He touched me,
And his hands felt like the sun
Scorching, burning across my skin

He hit me,
And it felt like a kiss
A lingering ache in my bones
Screaming for more

He held me,
And it took the air out of my lungs
Breathless, gasping
Hold on tight to me, tonight

I can hear the ringing in my ears
I can hear the sirens, the alarms going off
Where are you going?
Come back to me

All your anger and sadness, all your hate and desire
Give it, give it to me
Touch me, and I'll give you the love you need

I could have died right there,
But he kissed me
And once again, my lips were dripping cherry red

He hurt me and broke the hollow in my chest
But it felt like true love
He told me,
Loving him was never enough
So, I let him take more

I was a blank canvas
But he painted me blue-black
Then he lifted his hand
And I was crimson art
He blessed me with beauty and rage

I love you the last
I love you the first

Give me a gun
And tell me to die

But I won't shoot
Because the trigger finger's yours
And only you,
Can make my heart bleed

Only you,
Can look at me so softly,
And turn me into a violent mess

Only you,
Can make me go insane.

(quietly, silently, someone save my sanity)

Author's Note
This poem is about domestic violence and abusive relationships, and first, I would like to say that I am not romanticizing, glamorizing, or glorifying it. I was inspired to write this after I listened to Lana Del Rey's "Ultraviolence", and I heard the lyric "he hit me and it felt like a kiss" and I kinda wanted to expand on that, if you look closer there are a few song references, although changed somewhat. (I also referenced Halsey and G-eazy's "Him and I" right at the very start of the poem) This poem is a little more different from what I usually write cos it's slightly more abstract and there's more symbolism, and I'm trying to develop my style a little more so that I show not tell:p I hope you were able to understand this poem though and I managed to convey my message?¿
-stella