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Ryan- I remember that look

It's been 42 days, 9 hours, 17 minutes, and 12 seconds since he looked you the way he looked at her. You missed getting his looks, the looks you thought were specially reserved for you, guess you were wrong. It's been 42 days, 9 hours, 17 minutes and 12 seconds since you started thinking about a certain someone else differently.

You thought everything was great, that you both were happy together, that you'd be together until you were 6 feet under. Guess you were 6 feet under in some ways. You missed Ryan, more than you had missed anyone before, he was your everything or at least you thought.

Apparently he didn't feel the same about you anymore, which is a cliche thing to say and happen but it was true. One day you two are happy together staying up late sharing stories from your childhood, or outside looking at the stars pointing out constellations until dawn. The next thing you know you're fighting, screaming, and throwing stuff in the living room and he's packing his suitcase and leaving.

He came back to grab the rest of his clothes and stuff and left your house without speaking a word, slamming the door making pictures on the wall shake due to the force.

You lost it, you screamed. You screamed as loud as your lungs would let you, releasing all the built up anger, frustration, and sorrow. Soon the screams turned into wails, weeps, and sobs. You cried and screamed until your body ran out of energy, and you couldn't speak. You laid on the floor, not getting up for the rest of that day and into the next.

You called into work telling them you wouldn't be in for a couple days because of an illness. It really was an illness just not the one to do with your immune system, this one dealt with your heart and soul, your whole being really.

You never got off the kitchen floor, not until Jen being the best friend she is came to bring you soup and food for your 'sickness'. She found you on the floor not moving staring the the wall, not even looking at her when she raced over to you. She lifted you by the shoulders and pulled you into a hug, she shook you a little as well.

"(Y/n) look at me please"

You moved your eyes to hers, and a fresh set of tears sprung free from your eyes. Your shoulders shook with sobs and you couldn't breathe, your face turned into a red, blotchy mess. You didn't want anyone to see you in a such a pathetic, babyish state Jen especially.

You continued to sob as she squeezed you tighter put a hand on your head and placed your head onto her shoulder where the tears that fell come into contact with her shirt. She rocked you back and forth gently making soft shushing noises.

"It's ok (y/n) let it out, but make it quick because if you keep crying I might cry too"

You chuckled through your tears, you wrapped your arms around her and held on for dear life, like a child clinging to their favorite blanket or stuffed animal. You pulled away and looked into each other's eyes.

"I'm sorry Jen, you don't deserve to take care of me like i'm some, some baby"

"(Y/n) I'm your best friend it's my job to take care of you like a baby"

You swallowed thickly and nodded your head.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"I can try but if I do I might cry again"

"How about you write it down?"

"Sure"

She pulled a small notepad and pen out of her purse and handed them over. She watched your fingers move in a rapid speed, scrawling words across the page. You turned it around and let her read the words.

'Ryan and I broke up'

"Oh, (y/n) I'm so sorry to hear... Er read that"

You made a face. You moved to stand up off the floor but almost fell Jen put her hands out to catch you if you did. You stood up again but slower, you put a hand out for her to take and stand up.