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Ryan- whats this between us?

Alright we'll have some angst, I might write smut after dunno depends on how I'm feeling. I'm just trying to get as much written as possible before school starts

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It was the same routine, just like every night. He'd invite you over, you got down to business, and leave in the morning. The same damn routine, the one that's risking both relationships, the one that's going to ruin your life.

You turned over in the Snow White sheets and onto your back you draped your right elbow over your forehead and stared at the ceiling wondering what the hell you were doing. Just by being here you were risking your relationship with the person in bed next to you and the person who loves this person and is also one of your closest friends.

You felt out of place, you didn't belong here. In this apartment, in this bed, you didn't belong anywhere near this happy couple. The more you thought about it the more the remorse hit you and it hit you hard. You, you were a home wrecker. Some one who ruins relationships for your own gain, your own selfish gain.

You wanted to cry, to leave and forget everything that happened. You felt out of place but at the same time you didn't. You wanted to leave and never come back but you would miss the warmth of the sheets that didn't belong to you, you would miss feeling the body that wasn't yours. You'd miss this feeling even though you didn't deserve to know anything about it.

As soon as the thoughts entered your mind you shook them away, you aren't supposed to feel that, you had both agreed that as soon as Marielle left that you would come over and leave the next day, but you couldn't help it. The sight, and feeling was just so intoxicating like a bad drug you were hooked. You knew you needed rehab to help you forget and move on.

You turned and looked at the body next to you. Ryan Bergara, everything about him was just so intoxicating he was your drug. His smile, laugh, muscular body, charming nature, friendly personality everything about him made you want him more. You wanted his heart to be yours the same way it was Marielle's, but it wasn't about what you wanted you had to think of Marielle.

You sat up, the sheet on your chest sliding down a tiny bit. The cold air hit your shoulders and goosebumps dotted your skin. You threw the covers off of yourself and sat up on the edge of the bed, your feet came into contact with the cold floor.

You got up and started to get your stuff together, your movements not going unnoticed by Ryan, he turned around and opened his eyes to see you getting dressed and grabbing your things.

You turned around and saw him staring at you, he sat up and started to get dressed. You walked out of his bedroom and made your way to the door to grab your coat and shoes. You hadnt spoken a word, it would make things way easier. you heard him call your name hastily but you ignored him and started to get your shoes on.

You grabbed your coat and tried to walk out the door without having to confront Ryan. It would've worked if he hadn't caught you by the arm. He forced you to turn around so he could see your face. Neither of you knew it until it was too late but a tear slid down your face, this wasn't right and you knew it. He looked at you in shock and worry.

He licked his lips and just looked at you, he wanted to speak but didn't know what to say. So you spoke instead.

"Ryan let go of my arm please"

He left his hand drop back to his side, neither of you said anything for about 30 seconds.

"(Y/n) what's wrong, why'd you leave so fast?"

You scoffed as another tear left your eye.

"Ryan don't pretend you care for me you just want me for your pleasure, just let me go it's what's best"

"Best? Best for who?"

You were shocked, he didn't have any remorse for what you guys did, for what you guys were doing. He wasn't even thinking about Marielle, he wasn't thinking about the emotional toll this would have on her if she found out. She'd be devastated, heartbroken, and angry for sure.

"Ryan Bergara I know you didn't just ask that, have you even thought about your girlfriend, my best friend? Have you even given a thought about how she would feel? Have you even thought about ME!?"

Your voice raised with every sentence spilling from your lips. He looked shocked and then finally regretful. You looked at him, you wanted to hear him answer.

"WELL HAVE YOU?"

He shook his head slowly and kept his gaze trained on the floor. You scoffed and shook your head. You lifted your hands and let them fall back at your sides giving loud smacks as they hit your thighs. You knew that he hadn't thought about anyone but himself in this situation.

"Of course, I knew it. Y'know Ryan I might have feelings for you too, I might love you as well. When I saw you for the first time the only thing that crossed my mind was "wow" and apparently that crossed Marielle's too, she saw you and pointed you out to me thinking I hadn't seen you"

He didn't say anything but looked at you as you explained.

"But in reality I had seen you, I couldn't keep my eyes off of you. She looked at me and said "this one's mine" and I sat by and let her have you. You know why?"

He shook his head.

"Because I know her like I know my own mind she's been with me for as long as I can remember and I know for a fact that you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind as herself. So I suggest that we cut the loose ends now before either of us gets caught"

"No (y/n) I don't want to do that, we can fix this there's gotta be a solution"

You sniffled and looked him in the eyes. Venom dripping off of every word you spoke.

"Tell me ryan, do you actually know what this is between us? Does it have a name? Because I can give it one, CHEATING Ryan that's what it is. You are cheating on your girlfriend with her best friend."

"That is such a cliche thing to do. Ryan you know what I am? I AM A HOME WRECKER I home wrecked my best friends relationship. NONE of this is right, it shouldn't have even been a thing. Ryan I don't think you understand how much it pains me to be betraying my best friend like this"

You turned around and opened the door getting ready to step out but you stopped as he spoke.

"I'll break up with her (y/n) I love you"

"You and I both know you won't do that Ryan"

You took in a sharp breath and and continued you pulled the door fully opening it now. Your face hardened as you looked over your shoulder at him and spoke.

"I loved you too ryan. Don't text or call me and delete my number from your phone, give Marielle the best life"

With that sentence you slammed the door and walked away, you walked away from him and everything you did together. You didn't like the idea of being a home wrecker, you never wanted to be one again.

You left LA never to come back, you haven't heard a single word from Ryan. Shane tried to text and call along with Sara and Marielle but you cut yourself off from everyone. You didn't want to be the reason for everyone's pain, it was better this way.

This is the only way.

I wanted angst but I feel like that wasn't angsty enough I also used the words 'home wrecker' a lot towards the end 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

Im trying to get as much crammed in here before school starts so that probably means multiple uploads a day possibly 🤔

(Edited: 9/26/19)

But whatever comment, vote, follow I don't care I'm not your boss ✌🏻