(y/n pov)
Another tear landed on your phone screen, and you were quick to wipe it away. It didn't hurt as much when it happened. In the moment. It was just like, okay, now what? But now, a couple of days later? You were wondering why you still existed in the first place.
---
You and Ethan weren't best friends. But you weren't acquaintances. He had his friends, you had yours. But you two were still close as could be. He knew everything, all your deepest, darkest secrets. And maybe that's why it hurt so much.
You hadn't even known him for that long. Just since the beginning of the school year. And once you started talking in your English class, you had become close friends. You dmed all the time, every day. And you hadn't even thought about him that much. He was just a friend after all.
But time passed, months in fact, and you, well, you didn't know. One 3 AM, you'd said your goodnights, and you went to bed with a smile. You couldn't think about your celebrity crush or anything actually. Just him. You could only think about him.
Now, your friends had all shipped you. He was just about the only boy you'd ever talked to and about this much. And they all thought you had to like each other. But it was never like that. Or so you thought. You'd always thought and told yourself, Ethan was just your friend.
But after that night, everything changed. You began to go to English, in hopes of him. Just to see him. You stared at your phone screen after dming him, just to see that typing... to come up. You poked him on the shoulder to tell him it was 11:11 and if you were texting by that time at night, you always told him to wish.
You got butterflies every time he talked to you. Every time he texted first, it wouldn't leave your mind that he must have been thinking of you. Every time you were assigned partners in class, you had your fingers crossed under your desk.
And you knew he wasn't yours. You knew he would never like you like that. You knew you didn't have a chance with him. Or so you thought. It turned out that even though you knew you didn't have a chance, deep down, you really thought you did.
So one day, when he started talking about another girl, you thought you lost it. You shut your eyes while he gushed about her, hoping you could keep your tears at bay. They slipped through though. And he asked you, what was wrong. You told him you were just tired and were yawning. He laughed at the fact your eyes watered when you yawned, and carried on, talking about this girl.
You did everything you could in the moment, to be happy for him, that is. But you couldn't be, not when you kinda sorta wished that he liked you too. So when he wasn't around you just left, no bye, no see ya, you just left and walked home in the wind. You didn't even bother to put in your music. You just let the breeze hit your eyes, using it as an excuse to cry your eyes out.
And a little kid stopped you, as you were on your way home. He stopped to ask you if you were okay. And what had you responded with? That you were getting sick and your eyes were watering because you'd just sneezed. Oh, and that it was cold. Even though it was June.
And what did he say? He thought you were "mentally sad". He told you to feel better and to eat some ice cream to cheer yourself up, and he was off on his way. And that, that right there, made you cry even harder. That a little kid, years younger than Ethan himself, could read your expression perfectly, just by looking at you.
And so you walked home, crying telling your best friend what happened. And suddenly, lying in bed, you had an idea. What better way to get rid of your feelings for him, than to confirm that he didn't feel the same way. By telling him.
