TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of drugs, vaping and self-harm :(
(y/n pov)
You felt a tap on your shoulder and quickly turned around, pulling your headphones out. Ethan.
"Skip with me?" He asked as people rushed by you to get to their next class. You sighed and nodded, following him in the other direction. You sighed as he exited through the side entrance.
"Where are we going?" You asked, hurrying behind him. He shrugged and you walked behind him quietly.
The two of you walked in silence for a few minutes, away from your school and towards the park near your school. You sighed as he quickened his pace. "E, slow down," You said. He turned, eyes bloodshot.
"I can't do this anymore," He said. You walked over to him, wrapping your arms around him as he began to cry. You sighed, rubbing up and down his back.
"E," You whispered. You felt him collapse in your arms and you felt tears sting your own eyes. You pulled him towards the nearest park bench and sat him down, sitting down next to him.
"I'm sorry," He sighed, wiping his face. You shook your head as he rested his head on your shoulder. You sighed, resting your head on his.
You and Ethan were, well, no one really knew what you were. Not even you. Were you friends? Yeah, you could say that. But you couldn't help but feel it was more. But you couldn't. You couldn't take advantage of the vulnerable state he was in.
"Don't apologize," You whispered. Ethan sighed, turning to rest his forehead on your shoulder. "What happened?" You asked slowly.
"I don't know," He whispered. You sighed. He was silent for a moment. "What are you listening to?" He asked.
"What- oh," Yous sid pulling your phone out to turn your music off.
"Now?" He asked, reading the title of the song. "Can I listen?" He asked. You shrugged, handing him an earbud.
Ethan sat up and took it from you to put it in his ear. "I don't know if you'll like it," You said with a shrug. Ethan sighed and leaned back, listening to the song.
It's right now, right now
I ain't got the time to fuck around now
Everybody told me to settle down but
It's right now, right now
It's right now, right now
Only got one bullet make it count, yea
I ain't got the time to fuck around
It's right now, right now
She told me to quit it, yeah, I gotta listen
I'm not trying to kill my central nervous system
I've been staying sane enough to let it go
Once I get ahold of it, I let a blow
Maybe we should talk about this new decision
Everyone believing like a new religion
I just took another, now I'm so gone
What I'm feeling now it's taking to long
"I like it," He said. You smiled. "I understand," He said.
"E," You started, realizing it probably wasn't a good song to show him. "E, stop it," You whispered, reaching into his pocket to pull out a blunt and his vape.
"Y/N, I need it," He whispered. You shook your head, pocketing it. "What're you gonna do with it?" He asked. You shrugged.
"I'll figure it out," You said. Ethan sighed, running a hand through his hair. "E, you can't do this to yourself," You whispered.
"What else am I supposed to fucking do?" He asked. You sighed, reaching for his hand and locking it within yours. He let you take it.
"Don't hurt yourself," You whispered, resting your head on his. Ethan sighed. "When'd you sleep last night?" You asked.
"Didn't," He mumbled, resting his head against your neck. You sighed. "Can I sleep?" He asked. You nodded. And you felt him relax next to you.
"Do you feel any better?" You whispered in a few minutes. No reply. You sighed and felt his hand loosen in yours.
He'd fallen asleep.
You sat there, too afraid to move and wake him up. So you simply say there, enjoying the sound of his breaths slowing down, the little snores leaving him, bringing a sense of peace to you.
"Hm?" You felt Ethan stir next to you. You smiled as he sat up, wiping his face. "Oh shit, I fell asleep," He whispered, voice dry and deep. You handed him his water bottle and he took it, taking a sip.
"You okay?" You asked him with a smile. Ethan nodded and stretched his arms. "What time is it?" You mumbled, reaching into your pocket for your phone.
"Oh shit, it's lunch," Ethan said, stretching again. You nodded. "Hey, what did I make you skip?" He asked. You smiled.
"Science," You shrugged. Ethan frowned. "Don't worry about it, I would've hated it anyway," You said. Ethan nodded.
You sat in silence for a moment, just enjoying each other's presence, feeling the wind blow against you. He broke it. "Can I talk?" He asked. You smiled, turning to him.
"Of course you can," You said with a smile. Ethan sighed, facing straight ahead, unable to meet your gaze. "What's up?"
"I'm- I'm scared," He said. You propped your head upon your hand, elbow on the back of the bench.
"Scared of what?" You asked softly. Ethan sighed.
"Scared of hurting someone again," He said. You shook your head. "I can't stop, I can't stop smoking, I can't stop vaping, I can't stop and it's only going to get worse," He whispered. You sighed.
"Ethan," You started. He shook his head. "E, you were doing so good," You whispered. He shrugged.
"I started again," He whispered. You raised your eyebrows. He pulled up his sleeves slowly and you looked away.
"Ethan."
"I'm sorry, y/n," He whispered. "It's the only thing that makes me feel sane," He whispered. You shook your head.
"E, we can get you help," You whispered. Ethan shook his head. "E."
"If I get help, will you get help?" He asked. You looked down. "I know you're the same as me, y/n," He whispered.
"Ethan, I'm fine," You whispered. He looked at you.
"Then can I see?" He asked. You paused. "Y/N."
"Okay, fine," You said. "I'm not okay, but I don't need help, Ethan," You said.
"Then I don't need help," He said. You sighed. "Y/N you're doing it again," He said.
"No."
"Y/N, I know you are," He whispered. Your eyes watered as you played with your fingers in your lap. "Y/N."
You rolled up your sleeves and showed him. He sighed. "I'm falling apart, E," You whispered. Ethan wrapped his arms around you and you leaned into him, feeling safe as ever. "Will be okay?" You asked softly. You felt Ethan's shoulders go up and fall and you both sighed.
"I don't know," He replied honestly. You nodded and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing yourself further against him.
"I think we'll be okay," You whispered. He pulled away and you both sat back.
"Yeah?" He asked. You nodded. "How do you know?" He asked, his hand finding yours.
"Becuase we have each other."
