Stubborn Love.

Chapter 161

Chapter 161

Niall POV

I still no idea how to face her after what happened not even an hour ago. I don't know whether I should ask her to leave (which would probably the best) or if I should give it another try and let her explain everything. I'm just not in the mood for another big fight.

When I carefully open to the door to my room, I find her sitting on my bed. She is wearing one of my shirts, her knees pulled close to her body, the sheets only covering half of her legs. Do not even go there, I warn myself and step inside. The tension is still there, I can feel it instantly. Her face doesn't tell me anything, only the lip biting leads me to the conclusion that she must be kind of ..scared and nervous maybe?

"Hey." I say with no emotion in my voice. She remains quiet, but only raises her hand to give me a quick wave.

"So.." I have no idea what would be the right thing to say.

"I'm really sorry, Niall." Yeah I know she is, but that doesn't help me at all. I think it makes me feel even worse.

"I know.." I eventually tell her, shrugging with my shoulders.

"I wish we could forget about what happened and act like as you haven't said anything? I don't know but that would be good for a start?" I can't do that. How? It's not like I've opened up and told her what I really feel for her.. I don't want nor do I think it would be fair to me just taking everything back.

"No I think that wouldn't be such a good idea. What I said is the truth and whether I take it back or not, you know how I feel. I just think it would be better if you go now.." Am I kicking her out? I think I haven't felt that horrible for ages, actually not since New Year's Eve. I made a big mistake back then but today's different. I'm hurt and there was no one else involved apart from Kelsey and I.

"So you want me to leave?" She asks me, slightly confused.

"I think it would be for the best.." I admit, not looking at her but onto the floor.

"I don't know.. I don't know what to say.. You're basically kicking me out because I didn't say I love you, too.. that's not fair." She isn't yelling or anything, though she sounds angry.

"Life isn't fair, you know.." The words leave my mouth before I can even think about them. But isn't it the truth? Life is not fair. Never was, never will be.

"No.. you're not fair.. I just .." She is starting to cry. I can tell by how shaky her voice is. "I thought we wanted to meet up with my family and now I've ruined everything.." She kind of did but that's not the reason I want her to go. I want her to go because I can't deal with how messed up the situation is. I don't think it would be a good idea to sit there with her family and act like nothing happened.

"I'm sorry.. look.. maybe I can come and visit you in a week or so.. Paul hasn't told us about what's on the schedule for the week but I'm sure I can arrange something." I push myself away from the wall and walk towards the bed. She hasn't even moved an inch, only pulled the sheet up to her nose so basically every part except for her head is covered.

"No.. I mean.. I have to focus on school.. I have finals coming up and I haven't even started revising yet.." Oh. I've totally forgot about her still being in school. Her life is so different compared to mine.

"Kelsey.. I don't want to have to act like I'm okay.. just to please you and your family.." I should put myself first and I think it's only fair to me when I say no and she meets up with her family alone and without me.

"You don't have to do that.. I wish I could explain to you why I'm the way I am.. but I can't. I just want you to know that you mean the world to me." She takes me completely off guard with telling me that I apparently mean the world to her. I wouldn't believe her if she wouldn't have sounded so damn convincing. Kelsey's voice is almost gone, she is sobbing by now and it makes my heart sink. The world is pretty big so is it enough for me hearing those words coming from her? It is.