Stubborn Love.

Chapter 142

Chapter 142

Kelsey

I'm sweating. I feel like I'm drowning in my own pool of sweat. It was just a fucking dream or maybe it wasn't. I can't tell anymore what's reality and what's not.

I open my eyes and everything around me is pitch dark. I can't even tell what time it is or where I am. I try to sort out my thoughts and take a deep, a very deep breath. "Everything is okay. You were just dreaming." I tell myself.

"Kelsey, you okay?" I hear Deb's voice from outside the hallway. Okay I'm at home and I'm laying in my bed. It's probably in the middle of the night.

All of a sudden, there's a light shining into my room. Deb opens the door and I cover my eyes with my hands.

"Kelsey, are you okay?" She asks again and I nod. "Yeah." I mumble even though I don't feel like I'm okay, not even close. I don't even know what the dream was about. I was trying to wake myself up and must have shifted quite a lot.

"You were screaming that's why I woke up. I'm worried. Do you need anything?" Deb doesn't enter my bedroom but instead leans against the door frame, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Just a bad dream. I'm fine. You go back to bed again." I give her a weak smile and fake a yawn.

"Okay. If anything is wrong, please wake me up, okay?" She is still concerned about my well-being and so am I, which is kind of ridiculous. It's not the first time I had this dream. It's not that I can't remember a lot, just a few sequences and a face. My mother's face.

"Yes I will." I tell Deb. I'm quite sure we both know I'm lying. "Okay. Goodnight." She gives me a quick wave before pushing herself away from the door frame and closing the door behind her. I'm alone again. Something I still find hard getting used to. It's so much better to fall asleep and wake up with having someone next to you. With having Niall next to me.

I can't stop thinking about the dream or better said about my mother. Seeing her face, very clearly, every single night in my dreams is kind of difficult for me to accept. The first time it happened was almost a week ago and there wasn't even a reason. Maybe something deep down inside of me wants to tell me that I should talk to her. It's kind of coming out of the blue but sometimes, mostly when I'm alone, I miss her. Yeah she's still my mum after all. I have no idea how she is doing. She stopped calling me a while ago. Before I can actually think about what I'm doing, I grab my phone from the nightstand.

I let my fingers wander over the display and type something in. A new message.

*Would you come with me? I have to go and see my mother.*

I wonder what he'll think of me. I haven't really mentioned her so it might be a little bit too much to ask and weird but there's only winning and no losing. If he says no, I'll go alone. I just have to see her.

*

I can't remember falling asleep last night. What I remember, though, is checking my phone like every single minute, hoping I'd have a new message but nothing. He probably thinks I've gone crazy but on the other hand he's the strange one and not I. When I check the time, I see that it's already half seven and it's starting to get bright outside. I throw the covers away and hover my upper body up so I can get out of bed. The only thing I can think of is having a nice, long and relaxing shower after last night.

Once I'm stood next to my bed, I stretch my arms over my head and yawn one last time before making my way to the bathroom.

Shower. The last time I had a shower was with Niall. Oh my god. Memories. When I wouldn't have fallen and wouldn't have embarrassed myself, I could say that it was the best experience I've ever had. Sex-wise.