The Way We Were

The Way We Apologize

Rachel had red eyes when she walked into the choir room. She'd cried all night long and her dads had had to sit her down and tell her some harsh truths.

She hadn't liked any of it.

But she didn't like disappointing her fathers more. They'd always been her personal cheering section and boosted her up when she was down. They made her into who she was.

But now they were saying they were wrong. It knocked her on her butt. She had to take a long look in the mirror and realize that not everyone who disagreed with her hated her because of her talent or her unconventional looks. Maybe it was because of her attitude and actions?

To think that people were right to dislike her really hurt her feelings but she had to experience it in order to change. And she did have to change.

So she'd called an emergency glee meeting.

They were all there when she walked in, not one face welcoming not even Finn's or Mr. Shue's. She gulped as she stood in front of the group. "I'm sorry."

"True." Marcy nodded. "What else ya got?"

"Marcy!" Mr. Shue was just surprised Rachel apologized.

"Oh so because everyone's mad at her and she realizes time does not heal all wounds so she has to trot out a sorry ass apology, it's supposed to be all good? Fuck that noise! This would be the second time in a row she's tried to sabotage us! Give me a good reason not to snap her neck!"

"I'm with Patti!" Santana threw in her two cents. "She's always messin us over! If any of us had done half the crap she has, we'd be out the club!"

"But I'm sorry." Rachel could feel the tears welling back up. They didn't believe her. Of course they didn't believe her. She hadn't meant it before. Why would she now? "I'm really sorry."

Quinn scoffed, still wanting to jump on her.

"We don't believe you." Mike said flat out.

"I-" Tears slipped from her lashes.

"White girl tears. Great." Marcy rolled her eyes.

Santana sucked her teeth. "They always work."

"Not this time." Finn hardened his heart against Rachel's tears. They had always worked on him in the past but no more.

Rachel tried to explain her breakthrough but could only cry.

Mercedes went to her and hugged her. "You can't help who you are, Rachel."

"I can!" Rachel struggled to breathe. "I'll be better! I promise!"

Mercedes' face said she clearly didn't believe her.

That was Rachel's real rock bottom. Mercedes was the nicest person she'd ever met. If she didn't forgive her, she was irredeemable.

Mercedes saw the light go out of Rachel's eyes and felt sorrow. She didn't want her to die inside. "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up."

The others watched as Mercedes helped her from the room. Of course Mercedes would forgive her. They didn't expect anything different.

W.W.W.

Mercedes wiped Rachel's face of tears. "There you go. Pretty as a picture."

Fresh hot tears replaced those. Rachel shook her head. "No."

"You stop that. You know you're pretty." Mercedes sung part of a lullaby to her.

Despite herself, Rachel was being soothed. "No. I'm not pretty."