Fix a Heart [h.s.]

Chapter Fourteen

Here's chapter fourteen! Hope you like it :)

KAELIN’S POV:

                “How are you today babe?” Harry asks over the phone. I’m getting ready for bed and decided to call him for a change. I really need to talk to someone tonight. My appointment is tomorrow and my nerves are getting the best of me.

                “Alright,” I answer, “it’s been a long day...”

                “Tell me about it,” he insists.

                “Uhh, that’s alright Harry, I’d rather not,” I say, “tell me about your day. What have you been up to?”

                “Are you sure? I’m here if you want to talk.”

                “No, no,” I say, “seriously it was nothing, just long. Tell me about yours.”

                Harry eventually gives in and gives me a play-by-play of everything he’s been doing at boot camp. I can tell he’s having a blast and getting on well with everyone. It makes me happy to hear that. Around the end of the conversation he asks me what I’ll be doing tomorrow. I pause for a minute before answering. Perhaps I should tell him the truth. Only he seems so happy right now; how selfish would it be of me to ruin his good mood?

                “Um, probably nothing,” I say, “well, maybe hanging out with Briana but that’s all.”

                “That sounds great!” Harry insists, “Tell her I say hi?”

                “Of course,” I reply, “I better let you go now. You’re going to need some sleep for tomorrow.”

                “Alright love,” he says, “Sleep tight, I love you.”

                “Sweet dreams Harry, I love you too.” I press END on the phone and place it on my bedside table. The normality of speaking with Harry has calmed me down a little but it would have been better if I told him the truth. No matter how many times I try to say it I can never spit it out. I should have told him a long time ago. That way he could have had the chance to run before anything got serious between the two of us. But I was selfish and never said a damn word. Now it’s too late; Harry and I are in too deep. We love each other and it would only hurt both of us to tell him now. Besides, with Harry having a potential career in the music industry he just doesn’t have time to deal some sick girl.

                I take a deep breath, realizing that I’m getting ahead of myself. There might not even be anything wrong with me...or anything worse with me I guess. Maybe it’s just some little complication that can be fixed with a week or two of treatment. They might not even have to put me on any more medication. That would be nice. Hiding my pills has been getting harder and harder. I got off easy the first time Harry found the bottle because part of the label was torn off but I’ve been very careful ever since then. I feel like a horrible girlfriend lying to him like this.

                I sigh heavily and let my head fall onto my pillow. After my appointment tomorrow, no matter what the doctor says, I will do something about it. I’m not going to do this to Harry anymore. He doesn’t deserve to be lied to like this. I tell myself this as I drift into a deep sleep.

*

The hospital looks even more ominous today than usual. The grey colour of the sky is reflecting off of the glass surface of the building, making it just downright depressing. Helen greets us at the front desk and directs us to our usual room; our typical, monthly routine. We sit in the waiting room for what feels like an eternity before Dr. Kinsley finally calls me into the room. He sits me down at his desk and asks me to explain my symptoms. I try to be as descriptive as possible; mentioning the pain and tightness in my chest, the weakness, and the numb feeling in my hands and feet.