Fix a Heart [h.s.]

Chapter Thirty-One: Sweet Dreams

Alright here you go :) This should answer your questions and for those of you who guessed it yayayay :) I hope you enjoy it :)

HARRY’S POV:

...I think about following after Emily to make sure everything’s alright but I’m still panicking over Kaelin. Everything else is just blending into the background until all I see and care about is her. I rush back to her room where I find her lying in the same position I left her in. There’s a nurse attending to her; taking her blood pressure and writing notes about her heart monitor.

I stand beside the bed and cross my arms over my chest as I stare at Kaelin. Her collarbones jut out more than usual and her cheekbones are more prominent from all the weight she’s lost. Nevertheless, she’s beautiful, even when she’s sick. Her blonde hair lies in waves on her pillow like a halo around her head, her heavy lashes flutter every so often when she takes a deep breath, and her lips are in a natural pout. That’s Kaelin; that’s my girl.

I’m still crying a little bit and try to wipe the stupid tears from my face. What has crying ever helped? My tears aren’t going to help her whatsoever and I have to find something that can. I look up at the nurse only to find her staring at me with a sad expression. I find myself asking a question I really don’t want to know the answer to: "How much time does she have left?"

I brace myself for her answer, even more so when she hesitates. Finally, after a minute or two, she says quietly "Not long I’m afraid. You should probably stay with her tonight...make sure you say everything you need to."

I read between the lines. "She’s not gonna last the night?" I mumble pathetically, trying to let those words sink in.

"I can’t say for sure Mr. Styles," she replies, "But if I were you I’d tie up any loose ends."

I don’t want to listen to her any longer even though I know what she’s saying is true. I keep silent until the nurse finally leaves for a few moments. I drag the plastic chair right up to the bed and sit down. Kaelin’s hand sits next to her delicately. There are needles protruding from her wrist which scares the shit out of me because it just proves how sick she really is. I think I’ve been denying her illness for far too long. Every once in a while her fingers move; a little sign of proof that she’s still here.

"I’m so sorry baby," I whisper, knowing she can’t hear me but hoping that maybe she can. "I should have helped you by now. Please just stay with me a little longer so I can help you, please?" I sigh and let my head drop; I’m being selfish by not letting her go. What if she’s tired of holding on? "Kaelin just know I love you. I love you so much and I try to tell you that every day. You can have my heart baby, I’m trying so hard to give it to you." I gently run my hand up her arm, tracing the veins in her wrist. Her skin is soft and perfect. I don’t know what else to say to her that I haven’t said a thousand times before.

A few minutes go by and suddenly I find myself filling the silence with my humming. I fill in the words to the song Fix You. It’s our song. I remember the first time she told me it was her favourite; I was singing on my balcony and she caught me. The next memory I have is the plane ride to France; Kaelin was terrified and eventually I sang her to her sleep. Finally, she wanted it to be our song. Now I sit here singing it to her...

"When you try your best but you don’t succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down you face

When you lose something you can’t replace