Fix a Heart [h.s.]

Chapter Seventeen

Okay so you know I hate leaving endings like that.. I feel like i have to post two chapters at once so here you go :)

KAELIN’S POV:

Harry leaves the next day. I watch his car pull out of the driveway and speed down the road. Everyone was wondering why he left early. I feel guilty because I know I drove him away. I didn’t want to push him away from his family. On the other hand, I know he’ll be back to see them. He won’t be coming to see me though. I’m still trying to get it through my head that Harry and I are over. I actually did it; I actually broke up with the only boy I’ve ever loved. I just feel so done. My world seems to be falling apart at the seams. I need to rebuild some of the things I’ve knocked down but I just don’t have the energy. I feel sicker and sicker every day. It might sound strange but I swear I can feel my heart failing me. I’m weak and skinny now. I’m tired all the time and most days I don’t even want to get out of bed. Now that I’ve pushed Harry away things are only going to get worse. Now my heart’s just broken even more than it already was.

                The end of the week comes faster than I wanted it to. I wake up the morning of my surgery feeling completely drained. I’ve spent these past few days just lying around the house and feeling sorry for myself. I know Dr. Kinsley told me to stay positive but it’s been hard. The only positive things left in my life are Briana and my mom. Briana truly is my best friend and I love her to bits. My mom and I have been getting along again which has relieved a lot of my stress. If I ever lost either of them I honestly don’t know what I would do.

                A knock comes to the door just as I’m thinking this over. “Come in,” I say in a raspy voice. Ugh, I even sound like I’m sick. The door open and in walks Briana.

                “Hey Kaelin,” she says, “I came here to drag you out of bed.”

                I groan, “I don’t want to go Bri.”

                She just shakes her head, “well that’s too bad. Your surgery is today and you really need to perk up. I know you’re terrified, so am I, but you have to go through it either way. You might as well make this the best experience you can. Think of it this way: this surgery could make you better. IF you keep telling yourself that than you can’t go wrong.”

                I manage to smile at her, “thanks Bri, I know I shouldn’t be moping around like this. It’s just been hard, you know?”

                She presses her lips together and nods. “I know,” she says, “and I know how much you miss him already, but it’s just like you told me: he needs to focus on his career and you need to focus on getting better.”

                I nod and pull myself out of bed. “I’ll get ready,” I tell her, grabbing my towel and a change of clothes.

                “Good,” she says, “I’ll be waiting downstairs with your mom.”

                “Wait,” I say, “are you coming with us to the hospital.”

                She nods, “of course I am, that’s what I’m here for.”

                I smile and give her hug, “Thanks Bri.”

                I have a quick shower and change into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. I pack a little bag of clothes and other things, expecting to stay at the hospital for a few days. When I come downstairs my mom and Briana are ready to go. Ryan wishes me luck but stays behind. He must know I don’t want him there. There are two people I would like to come, however; Harry and my dad. I know exactly why Harry isn’t coming, but my dad? He has no idea what’s even going on but that’s not my fault. He made himself impossible to get a hold of. I swear he did it on purpose. I don’t even think I have his correct phone number anymore. It’s strange that I’m thinking about him now all of a sudden. I knew I missed him but I didn’t know how much until right now. I quickly remember what Briana told me this morning about being positive. I really need to stop dwelling over everything.