Fix a Heart [h.s.]

Chapter Nineteen

Hey there lovelies :)

So I've been trying to update as fast as i can because I really want you guys to read what's happening soon!!! I'm gettin there..a lot is changing in this chapter i hope you enjoy :)

KAELIN’S POV:

Three Months Later

Finally, after three long, gruelling months, the school year has come to an end. It’s August now; also known as the month I’ll be moving to London. Briana and I have already found a place. It’s not exactly a ‘nice’ place but it will do for now. It’s the best thing we could find on our tiny budget. My mom isn’t happy about it. There is no pleasing her no matter how hard I try. One minute she’s throwing me out of the house, the next she’s pissed because I’m actually leaving. It would have come down to this either way though. My condition is slowly getting worse. Dr. Kinsley hasn’t said so but I can feel it. I’m so weak all the time, not to mention tired, short of breath, and skinny. Not skinny in a good way either; I look unhealthy; I look sick. I never wanted to get to the point where I actually look sick. Dr. Kinsley has me down at the hospital four days a week now so I would have had to move to London eventually. Travelling back and forth is getting impossible.

Along with my condition, my spirits have only gotten worse as well. It’s been months since Harry and I broke up and yet I still think about him. I’m still in love with him no matter how hard I try not to be. Harry, on the other hand, probably hasn’t thought of me for a long time. He’s so busy with his career; being in One Direction and everything. I doubt he ever looks back and thinks of me. But that’s what I wanted, right? I decided that breaking up with him would be for the best...then why do I still feel like shit every time I see him on TV or in a magazine? I’m trying to be happy for him, and I am, I just wish I could push these feelings away. They just keep weighing me down.

Nevertheless, when Briana arrives at my house to help me pack up the rest of my things, I pretend I’m over him. We talk about how excited we are to be leaving and about how much crap I have but Harry is never mentioned. That’s the way I like it. Talking about him only makes things harder. Everything is going well until Briana begins taking the posters and pictures off of my wall.

She’s holding a certain photograph in her hand. I know which one it is without even having to see it. It’s the one with me and Harry in France. She’s smiling, "you still have this?"

I shrug as if it’s nothing.

She giggles, "You know what’s weird?"

"What?"

"To think that there are girls out there who have posters of Harry on their walls, and here you have an actual picture," she says. I force a small laugh though the thought is more shocking than it is funny. I still haven’t been able to wrap my head around the thought of Harry being famous. He’s just Harry to me, and he always will be.

Briana and I finish packing everything up that evening. We sit in the middle of my bare room and look around at the empty shell. I’ve only lived here for just under a year but this place feels like home. I suppose it’s time to move on but something inside of me still isn’t ready. A part of me wants to cling on to this part of my life and never let go, but there’s nothing left to hold onto. Time really does change things.

"The moving truck will be here tomorrow morning," Briana reminds me, "they’ll be at my place first thing and then here..."

I nod my head, still staring around me at the emptiness that used to be my little sanctuary. "Are you alright?" she asks.

I press my lips together and look at her, "I think so."

"You know you can always come back if you need to," she says, obviously knowing what’s bothering me.