❝I don't fear monsters anymore. I have been surrounded by them for so long that I have become one myself.❞
❝ You could never be a monster to me. ❞
. ☾ .
{ Captain Amer...
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Steve Roger's Apartment
Manhattan, New York City
. ☾ .
Sam's words had hit Allie like a brick, shattering her hardened resolve into millions of jagged shards. Tearing gashes into her heart. Inching closer to the beating vessel with every thought, looming dangerously over her very much needed organ.
She was never going to be the same. Not after everything that she had been through.
Those were Sam's words. And as much as she disliked the guy, she couldn't fault him for saying what he said.
She wasn't the same Allie used to train with Steve. Nor was she the same Allie who used to hang out with Howard in the science labs at the SSR. She wasn't the same Allie who Peggy used to dress up and she wasn't the same Allie who fought alongside the Howling Commandos. She wasn't the same Allie that Bucky had loved.
She wasn't the same Allie that anyone loved.
No, she was a monster now. She was haunted, completely guilt-ridden and scarred. She cowered from her demons and ran from the reality of her past. Because even though she begged herself to remember, there was always a little voice in her mind calling out for her to stop. Cowardly telling her that she didn't need to know the true monster that she was.
The old Allie would be ashamed. She was ashamed.
Wiping the few tears from her stained cheeks, she let out a soft sigh. She silenced her sniffles and wiped at her face with the sleeve of her black jumper. Tuning out Sam and Steve's conversation, Allie reluctantly got up from her seat on the bed and walked over to her backpack, looking for a temporary distraction from her morose thoughts.
She hastily dug through the bag, searching for her phone. Once her nimble fingers enclosed around the small flip phone, she yanked it out of the bag. Immediately flipping it open and going to the contacts. Despite her limited knowledge of modern technology, she managed to dial the lone contacts number.
The ringtone echoed into the room as Allie lifted the device up to her ear. Holding it with a tight grasp as she awaited for the very much-needed sound of Bucky's voice to answer. She hadn't even stopped to think of what the time was over in Bulgaria, but she still hoped that he would answer.
