❝I don't fear monsters anymore. I have been surrounded by them for so long that I have become one myself.❞
❝ You could never be a monster to me. ❞
. ☾ .
{ Captain Amer...
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Bucharest, Romania
January 2015
. ☾ .
Allie's world seemed a bit greyer with each passing second.
Everything was dimmer. The sun didn't shine as radiantly, the sky wasn't as blue, the city wasn't as pretty. Everything was darker, more sinister and corrupt. This darkness swirled beneath the surface, leaching the joy from the world that Allie lived in. Turning what was once so beautiful into a void of emptiness, reflecting her inner state of turmoil.
Even Bucky's smile lost its brightness.
His smile was more forced when he glanced over at Allie, not filled with that purity that it used to be, that simplistic joy. He was trying to play the oblivious facade, trying to remain unaffected. But failing rather miserably.
She assumed it was because he was afraid of her. That he was afraid of the monster that lurked beneath her exterior. Afraid of the soldier that HYDRA had cultivated. Because who wouldn't be?
She was afraid of herself. Afraid of the power that she held, that she struggled to control even on her best days. She was scared of relapsing, exactly like she had done a few days ago. Because her relapse wasn't just a minor setback, it wasn't something that she could just brush aside as think that 'I'll do better next time.'
No, she had murdered 20 people. Taken their lives within the blink of an eye, silencing their beating hearts with an exhale of breath. She had sentenced them to death like an executioner, holding no rational thought as she swung the sword. Watching the light leave their eyes as their bodies turned ever still.
And she was drowning in guilt.
A tidal wave of depression had swept her off her feet without notice, plunging her body under the frozen water. The air was knocked from her lungs as the ice-cold water washed over her, rendering her body immobile as she sank. The world seemed to fade as she began to struggle against the current, fighting to keep her head above the surface. Fighting for the sliver of oxygen to soothe her aching lungs begging for relief.
