Truth

chapter 3

'Liv'

"Fuck off!" he grumbles. Which is only greeted by more laughs from the boys.
"You got told man!!" One of them mocks, which I'm sure only adds more fuel to the fire I already created.
He slams his door shut and the engine of his car soon purrs to life, pulling his car forwards and out of harm's way. Finally Im able to lift up my trunk and actually achieve what I set out to do. I grab a box out the back and after one last glance at the re-parked black car, I head over to Sammie.

"Are you still okay to carry this?" I ask. Feeling guilty, I decide on giving her the lighter of the two boxes, she only replys with a small smile which I return. I can't help but worry I've already made a bad impression on this girl. I just couldn't help myself, which is usually when all my problems begin but not this time.
I go back to pick up the last box and as I lift it I realise how much I overloaded it. Feeling how heavy it is I try my best to balance out some of the weight onto my bent leg as I reach up to slam down the trunk and making sure it's locked up properly.

Standing upright once again I struggle to hold onto the awkwardly large box within my small arms. I try to balance the weight out to no success and Shakily push my legs to move forward to begin the long task of walking back to the dorm room. The only thing that makes me not give up is the thought of the satisfaction that it would bring that asshole to see me drop it.

"Hey!" I hear someone call out and I immediately identify that the voice belongs to the rude boy who owns that stupid car. without intending to I stop in my tracks and turn my body towards the direction that his voice had came from.
"I'll be seeing you around...princess." I respond with a frown of my own and an eye roll but I can't help the way my stomach flips at his comment.

Later when we've finished unpacking, mostly in awkward silence avoiding the topic of the parking lot showdown. We decide on going out to grab something to eat after not realising how late it has actually gotten.

"Literally there's the cutest little diner just off campus I promise you'll love it and the foods amazing." My stomach growls a yes in response. I didn't even realise how hungry I was but then again I haven't eaten anything other than a granola bar this morning for breakfast.

"Sounds good to me! I was going to settle for an early night but my stomach has other plans." I quickly look in the mirror of my closet and wipe under my eyes at any makeup thats decided to budge. I grab my purse filling it with any essentials that I'll need and follow sammie out.

I climb into the driver seat of my 'shit car' throwing my purse onto the back seat, Sammie shuts her door next to me and buckles up. Starting up the engine, I pull out of my space and head out of the campus gates. My mind being vaguely aware that the black car along with the boy is no longer in sight.

"You know maybe we could go for a little shopping trip this weekend, I could do with some new clothes and you can get some stuff to make you feel more at home...maybe a bit of colour, maybe something to put on the walls?" I quickly glance at her, her face is so easy to read. I can practically see the floral print and pink girlyness appearing inside of her head, not to mention those bloody posters!

I wonder if telling her fuck no would be an appropriate answer but quickly decide against it.
"Maybe, I have freshman orientation tomorrow and I don't actually start till next week so I spose I could." There's no way of getting out of this now, I know it and she knows it and she smiles triumphantly in response.
"Well when we get back we can make a list of what you need so we have an idea." A list? Of what and why?
"I honestly don't need that much stuff, I'm the see it, like it, buy it kind of girl."

She seems deflated by my short response but I turn the volume up on my stereo, the Foo fighters drowns out any more awkwardness and begins working on settling my thoughts.

I shortly pull over into a small parking lot and true to her word a cute little diner sits further back. A retro sign with chipped, peeling paint sports the words 'Mikeys' diner' which hangs above the door.
The windows are filled with neon lights which are reflecting out, illuminating the side walk in bright colours. My stomach groans again and I reach back to grab my purse from the back seat. to my suprise Sammie is already patiently waiting for me at the sidewalk before I even close my door.

Maybe she's more hungry than I am? I hurry over to join her and she leads me inside, walking towards the back and into a side booth. I slide in opposite her resting my body against the plush red leather and pick up a menu. I don't even really have to look, I already know what I want but out of some annoying habit I seem to have, I quickly glance over it before placing the menu back down onto the semi clean surface of the table. An older woman who is our server approaches us and I give her my order of a hamburger and fries.

Sammie picks out the same aswell but asks for a side salad to accompany it. I mean who even does that? We add a coke as both of our drink choices and thank the lady before she turns to leave.
"So did your parents come along with you today? I never got a chance to meet them." I know she doesn't mean this as an insult but it doesn't stop the pain that ploughs into my chest.
"Ermm no they had to work they couldn't get the day off." I decide to lie, lieing is much easier than the truth.

"Really but today is huge for you! I can't believe that someone they work for wouldn't understand how important it is for them to be here for you." The pain intensifies and I try to focus on my mother's voice telling me to keep my foul mouth closed.
"It's no big deal they..." At that moment the waitress comes back with both our drink orders and I'm so greatful I could literally jump up and wrap my arms around her large body but I settle for a polite thank you instead.

Right I need to take control of this conversation and lead it away from the topic of my fucked up life.
"So are you seeing anyone on campus?" her eyes light up when I finish my sentence telling me she either has a boyfriend or that she's definitely interested in someone.
"Well no not exactly, I mean there's this guy and he's really nice and kind to me, we have so much in common but I just don't think we're there yet." The first half of her sentence sounds like she's describing her brother maybe a friend at most.

"Oh well he erm he sounds really nice I'm sure you'll both get there." She gives me a quizzical look.
"You don't have to say it like that...I want someone I can depend on, to always be kind to me and be there for me when I need them. I want respect from a partner it's not just about lust and initial attraction, that's not what makes a relationship work in the long run."

She's obviously defensive about this non relationship thing that she's got going on and hey if that's what she's looking for I won't judge but to me it seems like settling for someone you don't even really want just for stability. But then again maybe that's where I've gone wrong. Maybe I need to find my own Mr Nice to keep me on the straight and narrow and make me feel safe in a way that I haven't for so long.