Truth

chapter 40

'Jace'

She sits on the edge of her bed her mouth agape from my honesty, her eyes burn into mine silently begging me for more answers.
"How am I different?" How? How do I even answer that? I don't think I have a straight answer for her. I just know that she is, I can feel it. She's different from anyone I've ever come across and for some unknown, infuriating reason to me she makes me act in a way that I never have before.

"You're just not the same." She raises an eyebrow at me and shakes her head at my answer, her silky, dark hair sweeps side to side with the action.
"I'm not the same? I must be otherwise I wouldn't of got caught up in your little game." How the fuck does she come up with that after what I've just said?

"You were never part of any game Liv." I answer exasperated by the never ending topic.
"Even if I'm drunk I still remember what Meghan said, you know about how you pick out a freshman and make it your goal to sleep with them." She curls her fingers in air quotations at the comment, an I inwardly cringe at the memory.

"It was never like that not with you." A shrill laugh escapes her mouth.
"And you expect me to be believe that Jace...really. Just how stupid do you think I am?" She is being fucking stupid but I'll keep the thought to myself.

"Do you honestly think I would have done all that shit if my main goal was to just fuck you?! I went fucking looking for you that night at the party after you left, infact I've done nothing but chase after you! if I just wanted to have sex with you don't you think I would of just saved myself all of this fucking hassle."

As I finish my rant she sits quietly seeming to take in my words and think them through.
"Okay so how I different?" We're really back to this again.
"Well you drive me fucking crazy for one." Her face begins to soften as a smile creeps it's way onto her face.

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth to stop her smile spreading, fuck I'd love to bite down on that lip. She makes me fucking crazy in every possible way.
"And?"
"And...we need to clean your knee up."

"Your just trying to change the subject." She's right I am but I'm growing uncomfortable of being put on the spot and letting her into my head anymore than she already is.
"So have you got anything I can clean this up with or would you just prefer to bleed over your sheets?" She rolls her eyes but points me over to the direction of her bottom dresser drawer. I pull out a clean wash cloth and some antiseptic along with a band aid.

Deciding not to leave her room in fear that I won't be able to get back in again, I grab a bottle of water from her desk and use it to wet the cloth. I kneel down on the floor Infront of her legs and when I feel the familiar sensation of Liv's eyes on me I look up and meet her gaze. I feel myself stirring in my boxers from her watching me in this position and the memory of my face between her thighs reaches the forefront of my mind.

"So your going to clean me up?" She laughs in suprise, hell I'm surprised! It's not like I've done this before to anyone accept myself that is.
"Yes I am now give me your leg." She rests her heeled foot on my thigh and I reach my hand out to cup around the back of her leg as I unstrap her shoe with the other. I cast the shoe aside and I can't help but glide my hand up the smoothness of her leg. I half expect her to pull away or kick out at me but instead a sigh escapes her lips.

I bring the cloth to the wound on her knee and gently begin to wipe away the blood and dirt.
"Is that okay? I'm not hurting you am I?"
"No it's fine it... it's good."she stutters, I try to suppress a smile as I continue to wipe the cloth against her skin untill I'm satisfied that it's clean.

I reach down for the antiseptic and put a small amount onto the wound before covering it up with the band aid. I let my hands linger against her warm skin, not wanting to loose the feeling of contact. My eyes find hers like they always seem to do and she stares down at me smiling, I really haven't seen her smile enough.

"Well thankyou doctor looks like I'm as good as new." I stay seated not wanting to talk or move, I know that my dismissal is coming next.
"Jace what's wrong?" How is she able to do that? She seems to be able to read my every thought.
"Nothings wrong... I suppose I better go and leave you to get some sleep." I reluctantly pull myself away from her body to stand.

"Before you go can you help me?" She stretches her arms out towards me, gesturing for me to take hold of her hands and I do just that. She uses me to pull herself up before almost stumbling over again. I had forgotten how drunk she actually was, when we were talking she almost seemed sober. I wonder if she will even remember what we spoke about tonight or that for once we had a conversation that didn't pass for an argument.

She unsteadily makes her way over to the dresser and pulls out a pair of night shorts and a shirt. Before I can even comprehend what is happening she grips hold of the hem of her dress and begins pulling it up her body. The material glides upwards revealing the black lace of her panties which frame her ass perfectly and then her bare back.

Fuck! I can't seem to tear my eyes away from her and I'm partially thankful that her back is turned towards me so she's unable to witness the look on my face or the growing buldge in my pants. The material clings to the top of her body not wanting to let her go and she begins to struggle to remove it.

"Jace are you still there? Urghhh help me I can't get out!" I don't give myself time to over think It and move myself to stand directly behind her. The material has infact got stuck over her full breasts and the thought makes my buldge grow even more painfully. I grip hold of the material and firmly pull it up over her head, freeing her. She quickly bends over to retrieve her shirt and at the point I have to look away.

It takes everything in me to stop myself from reaching out and taking her in my arms but I can't, not like this not whilst she's this drunk. I sit myself down on her bed staring anywhere but her direction whilst she finishes dressing. How does she always look so effortlessly fucking beautiful even when she's swaying around trying to dress herself. The shift of weight on the bed snaps me from my thoughts and I turn to see Liv crawling up the bed before burying herself next to me in her covers.

"Mmmm can you turn the light off?" Wait does that mean she wants me to stay?
"What?"
"Can you turn the light off please?" She mumbles again but I sit frozen, not knowing what to do with myself.
"Do you want me to go?" I'm not sure I really want to hear her reply and I seem to wait an eternity whilst she figures out an answer to my question herself.

"I don't know...do you want to go?" Of course I fucking don't want to go.
"No but I don't want you to hate me in the morning when you realise I'm still here."
"I don't hate you Jace." Her admittance makes my chest swell but for some reason I can't help but fucking push for more.

"You said you didn't want me." I state pathetically. Her eyes slowly peel open to stare up at me, she looks like she's about to say something but quickly decides against it and closes her eyes tightly shut again.
"Jace if your going to stay can you please turn the light off."

I abruptly stand up pissed that she's chosen not to answer me and stalk towards the door, I reach out for the door handle but hestitate. I should leave, I know I should leave but I can't seem to bring myself to do it. Instead my fingers finds the light switch which leaves us in darkness. I feel my way back towards the bed and remove my jacket and boots before sliding into the warmth beside Liv.

She instantly pulls herself to my body and nestles her cheek against my chest. Shocked, I hesitate before I wrap my arms around her, pulling her snugly against me and feeling a new calmness wash over me from her touch. I can fight it all I want but I know this is exactly where I want to be. As I begin to feel myself drift off to sleep I swear I hear Liv whisper the words
"I do want you."