Truth

chapter 32

'Liv'

I've layed in bed awake for what seems like hours, waiting for the high pitched noise of my alarm to set off. Today my classes begin and to say I'm dreading it would be an understatement. I wish I could just lay here and hide away from everyone and everything.

Sammie is clung to my back holding onto me tightly, probably to prevent herself from falling off the small space that my bed provides us both with. My alarm penetrates my ears signalling that the dreaded day has to begin. I ignore it in hopes that it will shut itself off and I can return to my self pity.

Ofcorse Sammie jumps up on the second tone and throws her body towards the noise on my dresser. She stretches her long slim arms high above her head and a loud yawn falls from her mouth.
"Liv how are you feeling this morning?" I sit myself up and I'm instantly met with a pounding headache.

"Not the best." I admit, although I'm not sure if the alcohol is the cause of the pain or my raw emotions.
"Do you want to take a shower? It might make you feel a little brighter." I don't really but I'm willing to try anything at this point, nodding my head I pull myself reluctantly from the safety of my bed.

I grab my toiletry bag from my closet and instinctively look into the mirror, my reflection is haunting. My skin now suddenly pale makes the dark shadows beneath my eyes stand out even more.

My hair, well it's a literal fucking mess in every sense of the word. God knows how I'm going to accomplish the task of making myself look somewhat presentable.

Sensing my turmoil, Sammie appears behind me and strokes her small hand up and down my back.
"Don't worry it's workable I'll help you, now go get yourself cleaned up and we'll get started."
A give her a small tight lipped smile, hoping her talents do not end with her clothing coordination.

The hot water cascades down onto my skin, I feel relief wash over me but it doesn't help with the emptiness that's settled its way inside my body.
I robotically go through my cleaning ritual and dress myself in a simple denim button up dress, making sure to brush my teeth on the way out, ridding myself of the stale taste of whiskey still coating my tongue.

I walk back into the room finding Sammie already dressed in another floral white dress, paired with a denim jacket.
"You already look alot better!" I almost laugh, somehow I don't imagine I look any better in the slightest, I certainly don't feel it.
Wanting to ease the worry displayed on her features, I nod my head in agreement.

Sammie brings me to sit on my bed and begins half drying my unruly hair. Grabbing a comb, some bands and Bobby pins, she begins the long task of trying to style my hair into two french braids in a milk maid style. I hear her clap her hands together behind me signalling when she has finally finished.

"I mean I wasn't sure if it was possible but it looks beautiful, just a few last finishing touches and your done!" She gently pulls at the braids and releases some strands of hair surrounding my face, which fall into their natural waves. She sprays it over making sure it holds and adds a few extra Bobby pins to secure the look.

I make my way over to the mirror and I'm shocked at the outcome. I really didn't think she would be able to do anything with it but as always she surprises me. I reach around and pull her into a hug.
"Thankyou, not just for my hair for everything I don't deserve your friendship." She pulls away gently placing her hands on my shoulders.

"Well you do have it Liv and your deserving of it regardless of what you believe. Right, now go and make a start on your make-up before we go grab coffee, I think we both need it today." my face falls at the thought of going back to that damned place.

"Liv I know what happened but you can't avoid it out of fear of seeing them, that's not the badass Liv I know!" A giggle escapes from my mouth at the image of her one hand resting on her hip and the other clicking her fingers across her body, punctuating her statement.

I go for my usual day time makeup look but add more concealer in a bid to hide the dark circles underneath my eyes and wing out my eyeliner a little more than usual. Once I'm ready I slip on a pair of black ankle boots and grab my bag, filling it with my books and class schedule.

Taking one last glance at my reflection I notice that I look visibly more sane than I had previously when I'd awoken. It's funny how a little makeup and a decent hairstyle can disguise the most broken of people.

"Are you ready?"
"As ready as I'll ever be.."
Linking her arm in mine she pulls me from our dorm room leading me towards my previous hell. I stay silent for most of the duration on the way to the coffee shop.

My anxiety creeps its way back into my mind, playing out the worst case scenarios of what could possibly happen.
"Are you coming in or what?" Sammie stands in the open door way, waiting for me to join her side.

I hadn't even realised we were here. I suck in a deep breath, scanning my eyes over the exterior one last time, wait is that blood?
"Liv come on!" I shake the thought away and quickly follow an impatient Sammie inside.

As we make our way inside I automatically begin to scan the crowded space and relief floods through me when I don't recognise any of the faces.
"You grab a seat and I'll quickly order, black coffee no sugar right?"
"Yes please."

I begin to feel more at ease now and feel the heaviness from my chest lift. My eyes wash over the small crowded space of coffee drinkers, looking for somewhere we can sit.

Spotting a small round, black table in the corner with two empty matching chairs, I make my way over, claiming the seat furthest away. I can do this, If I can just get through the day I know it will get easier again, it has to right?

Sammie's raised voice snaps me back to reality.
"You just leave her alone do you hear me?" Who is she talking to? I don't recall ever hearing Sammie's voice rise in anger before.
"She doesn't want to see you and I don't blame her, I wish she listened to me the first time and never spoke to you!"

"How about you stop fucking telling me what she wants because you don't have a clue!" Jace...my body shrinks back into the chair at the sound of his voice. I weigh up my options, I could run or I could hide, although I think both ideas would most definitely draw unwanted attension to myself and I know he'd come after me.

So I do what I do best and slip the mask back on extinguishing all emotions from my body.
"She's not here!"
"Then who's that other cup of coffee for then?" Jace storms forward with a panicking Sammie close behind.

Shining grey eyes find my brown ones, fixing me into my seat like a weight has suddenly cloaked itself over my body. His long legs stride towards me stopping infront of the empty chair, opposite to where I sit.

"Liv.. I" I won't let him finish that sentence there's nothing he has to say that I want to hear.
"You can pick up your clothes later."
"My clothes?"
"Yes your clothes, I'll have them ready in a bag for you." Jace's face crumples in confusion, those beautiful eyes search mine trying to figure me out but I refuse to let them.

"Are you ready Sammie?" My body feels numb, heavy when I stand up but I push myself forwards, away from Jace and his probing stare. I'm greatful when Sammie's arm loops through mine giving me the extra support that I need.

"Liv!"
"Goodbye Jace." I don't turn back to look at him and I silently pray he doesn't follow us out of the doors to cause a scene.
"I'm so proud of you Liv." Sammie whispers, pressing the warm cup of coffee into my shaking hands. For the first time in my life I've not given into my impulsive emotions...although I'm not sure I feel any better for it.