Truth

chapter 30

'Jace'

I can't speak words won't form in my mouth I'm watching this unfold like it's not really happening Infront of me. Liv looks around erratically, noticing that all eyes in the small coffee shop have fallen on her and her face tints a bright crimson in response.

I can see the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks but I know her well enough to know that she won't give Meghan that satisfaction.
"Meghan it's enough! Just stop, leave her alone now!" Charlie drags Meghan away as she continues to cackle, proud of the embarrassment she's bought on Liv.

I take a look at Liv's face but her eyes refuse to meet mine, she storms past me flying out of the coffee shop and this time I run straight after her.
Out of habit I grab hold of her arm to stop her from getting away from me again.

"Don't you fucking touch me! Is all of that true?" She screams loosing all control over herself. I grip her arm tighter than I usually would, scared that I'll loose her before I can talk her down.

"What? I..." I don't know what to say because besides me not fucking Meghan it is all shamefully true.
"I don't.. I thought...you don't even care do you?" She no longer has the strength to hold back the tears and they begin streaming down her beautiful face.

"I've been with girls, alot of fucking girls you must know that!" I don't know why I'm even shouting, this broken girl is standing Infront of me crying because of my actions and my so called friends but I can't seem to stop myself.

"I know I'm not stupid Jace! But why would you even come after me when you was with her! Why would you even touch me after your hands had been on her?" She shudders disgusted at the memory of us now.
"I don't know why I did, that's just what I do!" I fuck things up even when I don't mean to.

I only met up with Meghan at that party in the first place to get my mind off Liv but that was never going to work, I knew that deep down. Meghan could never compete with her, it was stupid to even try.

"She's right isn't she? You really don't care about me at all, it's all just been a game to you so you can get what you want from me because I'm sensitive right? That must of made me such an easy target for you!" She wipes furiously at her face trying to rid herself of her unwanted tears.

"An easy target? what are you even talking about? I remember that you wanted it to happen just as much as I did so don't play yourself off as some kind of fucking victim!" Rage begins crashing into me like waves, each wave bringing me closer to the rocky edge.

"Only because I thought.. I thought you cared about me, I thought you understood me more than anyone has. I told you things, I trusted you!"

"Well maybe you fucking shouldn't of then. What? did you actually think that we would be a couple now just because we fooled around? That's not me, that's not what I do!" I scream out the last part and Liv's body lurches backwards pulling out of the grip of my hand.

I can feel a small crowd gathering to watch but I don't give a fuck about them or about anything else right now. I can barely see past the red clouding my vision.

"Stay away from me from now on I mean it! I never want to see you again your disgusting!" Liv runs away from me as fast as her legs allow her to and this time I let her go.

I slam my fist into the side of the coffee shop, leaving my blood to stain the white walls. I know it should hurt but the pain doesn't seem to register within my frantic mind. I wipe my knuckles against my jeans, the blood disguised amongst the dark fabric.

"Man what the fuck was all that about? what are you and Meghan doing to that girl?" I didn't even hear him come out here, he's obviously more fucking stupid than I thought.

All I see is red and before I've even realised what I'm doing, I've grabbed Charlie by the shirt and thrown him into the wall connecting my already damaged knuckles into the side of his cheek.

Charlie's shaking hands fly up to his bruising face, as if holding onto it will take the pain away. His face pales and falls into complete an utter shock at my violent outburst.

"Stay out of my fucking business you don't know shit!"
I shove him back further into the wall hoping to make him disappear, to no success. I turn on my heel and storm away, I need to get out of this fucking place!

Reaching my car I slam the door closed behind me. Turning the sterio up full blast, I scream out the rage left inside of me into the small space of the car. Fuck! I jam my keys into the ignition and speed out of the parking lot towards the fortress of my apartment.

When I get through the door I head straight to the cabinet above the sink, pulling out a bottle of unopened bourbon. I break the seal and quickly gulp down as much of the contents as I physically can, untill the burn becomes too intense and I have to stop myself.

Pulling myself together after heaving into the dish cluttered sink, I carry the bottle with me into the bedroom and sink my body onto the bed, leaning my back against the coolness of the wooden headboard. How the fuck did this escalate so damn quickly?

Why couldn't Meghan just keep her fucking mouth shut! I should have stayed away from her after the first time but I was stupid enough to go back to that spiteful bitch! And now because of her Liv despises me.

I know I can't lay all the blame at Meghan's feet, it's just easier to.

No one made me speak those awful words to Liv, I did that all on my own.
Just like I did before at the bar but last time she forgave me and this time I don't think she will.

I bring the bottle to my lips in a bid to wash away the guilt laying heavily on my chest, it doesn't work. I made something we did together into something disgusting and meaningless, when it felt like neither of those things to me.

She never wants to see me again she was adamant about that but the thought makes me feel something a little more than disappoint. I launch the bottle against the cream coloured wall and it shatters on impact.

I lower myself further into the bed, watching the remains of brown liquor slowly trickle itself down the walls. The perfect cocktail of mine and Liv's scent fills my nose as I lay my head into the pillow, silently wishing away the last couple of hours.
Wishing we both never left the safety of my apartment.