Truth

chapter 35

'Jace'

How have I even got myself into this position? Me? I've never wanted anyone for anything other than a meaningless hookup but here I am sitting in my fucking car in the student parking lot, feeling like a complete idiot. I can't believe I acted like such a desperate bastard over a girl who apparently doesn't even want me.

She unwelcoming wormed her way into my head and twisted up everything inside me. Before I met her everything seemed so easy, I would never even entertain the idea of letting someone get close to me but I could feel she was different. Somehow in the short space of time I've gotten to know her, she's managed to chip away at the walls I've surround myself with and fuck everything up.

Only to decide that I'm no longer worth her time but that's fucking fine with me I can easily find someone else, hell I have enough of them saved into my contacts. Pulling out my phone I scroll down the many meaningless names hesitating when I suddenly see Liv's appear. I quickly tap on the name above it and wait for the dial tone.

After the third ring I'm greeted by a soft familiar voice.
"Hey Lex are you buisy?"
"

You know I'm never to be buisy for you babe."

"Good are you in?"
"Yeah I'm just studying with my room mate."
"Okay we'll get rid of her I'll be there in five." I hear her giggle as I hang up and tuck my phone away into my pocket.

Sucking in a deep breath I jump out of the car, locking it up before heading back towards the girls dormitories. I rush past Liv's door and a heavy feeling weighs down on my chest at the thought of her being so close. I need to just put her out of my mind and forget about her and Lexi will help me do exactly that.

I've been hooking up with Lexi frequently for the best part of a year. She's sexy as fuck and knows exactly what I like, without me having the worry of her getting attached. she takes this arrangement for what it is and right now I need her as a distraction to get out of my own head. I bang my fist against the door twice before the door creaks open revealing Lexi's alluring petite, tanned figure barely covered up by a black lace lingerie set.

"Long time no see." She purrs closing the door behind me as I enter. Not wanting to waste any time divulging in conversation, I press her against the door kissing her mouth roughly. Only it doesn't feel as good as I remember and she struggles to keep up with my pace.

She pulls back, her heavily lined, brown eyes staring at me curiously.
"Someone's eager tonight."
"Lex." I warn, she lets out a giggle in response before reconnecting our lips and I feel her hands automatically move to unbutton my pants, letting them fall to my feet along with my boxers before I kick them both aside.

I'm in no mood for foreplay tonight so before Lex can drop to her knees I grab ahold of her ass and bring her up to straddle me against the door. Taking her long red hair into my fist I tilt her head back to gain easier access to her neck.

"Jace..." She moans as I suck and kiss at the sensitive skin there, she responds by wrapping her hands around the nape of my neck for support. I wait for an eager hand to tug at my hair but it doesn't come. I suddenly pause pulling away to look up at her, her lust filled eyes greet me but they lack the same fire I've grown accustomed to seeing.

"What's wrong?" I try to shake the memory of Liv's haunting eyes from my mind but fail miserably.
"Nothing, Have you got a condom?"
She eyes me suspiciously before jumping down from my body and heading towards her dresser, pulling one out from the top drawer and holding it out to me Infront of her.
"Come here then." She bekons with a manicured finger whilst spreading herself out in the center of her bed.

I waste no time and climb up on top of her taking the shiny packet from her grip and ripping it open with my teeth, rolling the thin latex over my hardened length. I turn my attension back to Lex and wrap my fingers into the thin lacy material of her panties, pulling them down her body eagerly.

Readying myself, I position my body between her long, bronzed legs.
"Something tells me you want it rough tonight, you seem so tense." When I don't answer she leans herself forward, intwining her fingers into the black material of my shirt and pulls it upwards away from my body before casting it aside. Lex reaches out to bring her hand to cradle my cheek but I quickly collect it in mine, pinning it to the pillow above her head not wanting the affectionate gesture.

I slowly rub my arousal against her wet opening enjoying the feeling of the heat radiating from her against the thin material covering my skin. Closing my eyes I push myself into her making sure every inch of me is buried deep inside. She gasps loudly and I begin thrusting in and out of her at a rapid speed, willing myself to forget the face that's become transfixed in my mind with every thrust.

I feel myself become even more frustrated when my plan of distraction doesn't seem to work. I finally decide to give in and begin to fantasize that it's Liv's beautiful body that I'm loosing myself into and those mesmerising eyes of hers are the ones that are staring back at me filled with pleasure.

"Fuck I want you..." I groan into her neck. I pick up the speed thrusting even harder, faster loosing all control. I bring my hand to her most sensitive area, rubbing my thumb in circular motions against her clit, desperate to hear her voice scream my name as she finds her release with me.

Instead it's Lexi's voice that interrupts my fantasy as she calls out my name whilst I spill myself into the condom.
I collapse onto her body trying to catch my breath.
"Fuck..."
"Jace, I don't know what happened today but...fuck... I'm not going to complain."

After a few moments I pull myself out and away from her, discarding the spent condom into the trash can by her bed.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I turn my gaze to Lexi who pulls a sheet up from the bed to cover up her nakedness.
"No there's nothing to talk about." She rolls her eyes at my reply but doesn't press for more information which I find myself greatful for.

"Okay then, well get your clothes back on, I need to go and take a shower I take you can see yourself out?" She struts past me kissing me on the cheek as she goes to grab her toiletry bag and heads out of the door, shamelessly still wrapped in her bed sheet as she heads for the bathrooms.

I rub my hands over my face resting my head in them. What the fuck am I doing? Am I really in that deep? I abruptly stand up not ready to answer any of my own questions and quickly begin dressing myself before I leave.

Sitting myself back inside my car I stare out of the window watching random passers by. I can feel it, that pull making me want to go back inside and towards Liv but I cant. How is it possible to feel this kind of way about a person you barely know.

This can't be normal other people surely don't feel this way. Maybe I've just lost my fucking mind, either that or she's driven me crazy. I bring the engine to life, reluctantly pulling away from the building and the girl I can't be with and head towards the loneliness that is my home.