Truth

chapter 36

'Liv'

I've somehow managed to survive just over a month of life at school. I've managed not to revert back to habits of drinking since I scared both myself and Sammie, and I thankfully haven't seen Jace since he stopped by, and things are finally beginning to feel easier. Although admittedly, I've struggled to shake the memory of the way Jace acted that night and the desperation behind his words.

It took everything in me not to give into him and admit that I do feel the same way, but I couldn't let him know that it's easier this way. In the short space of time we've known each other, most of it has been spent arguing or with me in tears.

It's just not healthy to be around one another, I'm the fire, and he's the gasoline, and together we're explosive in the worst and best possible ways.

I've avoided all the messages from Abz and Charlie about meeting up and going to this weekends frat party. I know none of this has anything to do with the, but I just don't want to be pulled back under again, I don't trust myself. Not to mention that I still feel humiliated after what happened at the coffee shop. It's not exactly a topic I want to be reminded of.

After finishing up my day early, I spread out my notes across the des, preparing myself for next week. I hear the door click open and turn to see Sammie and Jackson appear.
"Hey Li, look at you being all prepared!" She gestures towards my note, and I can't help but laugh.It's very unlike me but I'll welcome anything that keeps me buisy lately.

"Hey Liv!" Jackson greets before throwing himself down onto Sammie's bed. He's spent everyday hanging out here this week which I don't mind he seems like a really nice guy, exactly how Sammie described him and he makes her happy so I'm happy for her.

"You alright Jackson long day was it?" He brings himself up to a seated position pushing his light brown hair away from his face.
"It's Sammie I need your help she just won't listen to me, I need some persuasive girl power over here." Sammie rolls her eyes and swats at his shoulder.

"I told you I don't want to go, I don't get what the big deal is anyway, a whole bunch of college kids getting belligerently drunk doesn't sound like much fun." He grabs hold of her waist and pulls her onto his lap.
"It will be fun cos I'll be there and I happen to want to show my girlfriend off." He kisses her lips and I turn away not wanted to witness their display of affection.

"Can't we just stay here or go out to eat or something?"
"Baby I can't I just joined the fraternity I'm expected to be there, I have to make sure there's enough drink for those college kids to get belligerently drunk on and I'm on clean up duty you know this." Sammie sighs looking in my direction, Jackson follows her gaze.

"Why don't you come with us Liv? Sammie will have someone she knows there and it will be more fun, it's a win win."
"I don't think it's a good idea." I answer truthfully, that's the last fucking place I want to have to be.
"Come on Liv you've been stuck in all week it will do you good to get out and let loose me and Sammie would appreciate it."

"Don't drag me into this I'm happy to stay at home don't pressure her to have to tag along too!" Sammie Huffs and stands to walk over to my side.
Jackson's pleading eyes find me silently begging me to come along.
"Okay." I answer raising my hands in the air in surrender.
"Okay what?" Sammie questions raising an eyebrow as she scans my face.

"I'll come, I'll go to the party." I pick up my papers and pile them up neatly in the corner of my desk in a bid to occupy myself away from the swirling anxious feeling thats beginning to swell in my stomach.
"Are you sure? What about you know who?" Sammie whispers in my ear and even though she doesn't say his name it still has the same effect on me.