𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 || seongsang

5⋆Veracious

"Where did you go last night?" Hongjoong asks, looking at Seonghwa over the edges of their laptops.

It's a lazy Saturday afternoon and Hongjoong and Seonghwa have met up to work on an assignment together.

Hongjoong hadn't been too eager to go out at all due to being hung-over from last night, and he is hiding his tired self in an oversized black hoodie, while a large sized coffee is standing in front of him on the table.

Seonghwa on the other hand had been feeling so incredible restless that he just had to get out of his room, spending hours to convince Hongjoong to meet up.

When Seonghwa came home last night it had been impossible for him to fall asleep. He couldn't stop thinking about his encounter with Yeosang and the conversation they had had. But worst of all he couldn't get the images of Yeosang's face out of his head. His strikingly stunning features, his rosy lips and the way his eyes looked at Seonghwa when he asked him if he wanted to kiss him.

Kiss him...

Seonghwa cringes in his seat when the words run through his mind for the millionth time that day. He quickly clears his throat, peeking at Hongjoong and hoping he didn't notice the sudden movement. To Seonghwa's luck Hongjoong is busy rubbing his tired eyes while yawning loudly.

"I just went out to get some fresh air," Seonghwa replies, pretending to be typing away on his computer.

"Hmm... Okay..." The tone in Hongjoong voice indicates he doesn't really believe it. "Did you perhaps... Meet someone cute?"

"What? No!"

At Seonghwa's prompt reply, Hongjoong immediately closes his laptop and leans in across the table while staring at Seonghwa with one brow raised. Seonghwa just stares back at him with an uncomfortable look on his face. A few seconds of silence lays over them while Hongjoong is searching Seonghwa's face for clues.

"Oh my God! You did!" he suddenly exclaims and claps his hands together.

"I-I did not!" Seonghwa complains but to no use. Hongjoong is practically crawling across the table to squeeze his face in excitement.

"Who was it? Is it someone I know?"

"Joong, can't we just focus on this assignment?" Seonghwa sighs, doing his best to hide how terrified he is that his friend might find out.

Hongjoong nods a couple of times while leaning back in his chair, his lips dragged into a straight line while he keeps glaring at Seonghwa, waiting for him to come clean.

♦

A couple of days later Seonghwa is walking down the hallway when he sees Yeosang and Wooyoung coming towards him. Wooyoung is busy blabbering away, while Yeosang just nods now and then. As they approach each other, Seonghwa and Yeosang's eyes meet and Seonghwa suddenly feels out of breath and almost nervous about what to do. When Wooyoung and Yeosang are just in front of him, Wooyoung bows politely as he sees Seonghwa. Yeosang on the other hand doesn't react much. His eyes are locked on Seonghwa up until the moment they are about to walk by each other, but then he just looks straight forward while pushing his hair back. Like they don't know each other at all.

The lack of reaction confuses Seonghwa who stops to take a look over his shoulder. The two friends are a couple of steps behind him now, and Seonghwa is deep down hoping that Yeosang will look back at him too.

But he doesn't.

♦

Seonghwa sighs for probably the one hundredth time that day. The past hour he has been trying to keep himself busy with ironing his shirts, causing the air in his small room to be all moist and damp. When he goes to his closet to get a new shirt to iron, he realizes he's done all of them already. This is one of the things that always calms him down and now he instantly feels restless again. He bites his lower lip when he acknowledges what he has to do. When he walks out the door he isn't even thinking about how late it is by now. He is usually asleep at this hour, but tonight he doesn't feel tired at all.

The sound of his footsteps echoes down the empty hallway as Seonghwa walks with determined steps towards his destination. He remembers the way without any problems, even though he's only been there once before.

"We need to talk," Seonghwa says the second Yeosang opens the door.

Yeosang isn't looking too pleased with the surprise visit, clearly on his way to bed. His room is barely lit and he is dressed in a set of striped pajamas. His hair is messy and without any products in it, making it look extra soft and bouncy. His facial expression however, is anything but soft as he glares out at Seonghwa.

"No, don't worry. You are not disturbing at all," Yeosang grumbles at Seonghwa's inconsiderateness, but gestures him to come in.

"We need to talk about what happened that night, outside the club. About what you said... You shouldn't just assume such things about others. It's not okay!"

Seonghwa wastes no time before starting the conversation he's had with himself in his head on his way over. Yeosang just side-eyes him while sitting down on the edge of his bed.

"Okay."

The way Yeosang just shrugs his shoulders, showing no remorse or shame at all is frustrating Seonghwa endlessly. The careless reply almost feels like it's trying to contradict the way Seonghwa is feeling. He clenches his fists and takes a step forward, determined to get his way and prove to Yeosang that what he said was wrong and he should never do such a thing again. Not to Seonghwa, at least.

"I-I most definitely did not want to kiss you that night. In fact, I don't want to be around you at all."

"Then why are you here? You can just leave; you know?" Yeosang replies in an instant. "Or maybe you actually do want to stay?"

Silence.

Yeosang rises from his bed and walks towards the door, nodding towards it as a way to ask Seonghwa one more time if he wants to stay or not. Seonghwa slowly takes a few hesitant steps towards the door as well, feeling how his heart starts beating faster for each step he takes. The air feels heavy around him, making it hard for him to breathe properly. Yeosang just leans his back against the wall with arms crossed in front of him, while waiting for Seonghwa make a decision.

When the two of them are standing in front of the other, Seonghwa lays one hand around the doorknob about to leave, but something stops him. Something about looking into Yeosang's eyes is making his mind go crazy. Seonghwa wants to speak, but he can't. Instead he just stands still, feeling like he is about to choke on all the unspoken words that keep pushing upwards in his throat but turn into silence when he opens his mouth.

Slowly he lets go of the doorknob and takes one step towards Yeosang. Then one more until they are standing so close that he can feel Yeosang's warm breath against his own face. In this given moment Seonghwa can't run from the fact that he feels drawn to Yeosang, even though it is wrong in so many ways. This isn't how he was raised to be or to feel. This is in no way a situation he had ever thought he would find himself in.

But the burden of having to live up to others' high expectations of him all the time is suddenly feeling heavier than ever. His own as well. And he is sick of tired of it, of being so predictable all the time. Tired of living his life by the perfect template that his father has laid out for him. For once he just wants to feel alive, do something crazy that no one would ever expect of him. Something that feels so wrong that it is right.

And looking at Yeosang's face, his lips, nothing has ever felt more right. Without words, Seonghwa leans in and lets Yeosang know that he in fact was right in his assumption the other night.