𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 || seongsang

26⋆Blackout

The pain in Seonghwa's heart can't be described with words. He has never experienced anything like this before, and how he is going to handle it is something he can't even begin to think about. The things Yeosang said to him, those hurtful, wounding words almost seem too unreal to be true. But they are.

When Seonghwa left Yeosang's room, he just walked down the hallway without any idea of where to go. His feet just took him somewhere and before he knew better he was sitting at a nearby bar with a beer in his hand. Drowning the sorrows in alcohol might not be the best idea, but nothing seems right anymore.

Seonghwa pinches the bridge of his nose, while closing his eyes to prevent tears from falling. Did Yeosang really just play him? It just doesn't seem right. Seonghwa thinks back on all the good times they had together, the way Yeosang smiled at him, how he kissed him and told him he loved him. All those things, they couldn't have been lies.

Could they?

Three beers later, Seonghwa is ready to go back to his room and try to get some rest. His brain has been overworked so hard it's practically fried by now. He is just about to leave, when he hears a voice he hasn't heard for a long time now.

"Seonghwa? Hey..."

She looks just as he remembers her, and when thinking about it he hasn't seen her around at all lately. Her brown hair is falling over her shoulders in soft waves, just the way he used to love it, and her red lips curl up into a wry smile when their eyes meet.

"Tzuyu?" he asks confused.

"Hi, I'm sorry... I know you probably don't want to talk to me but..." she mumbles while looking down.

Seonghwa scratches his neck a couple of times, trying to buy himself time to figure out what to say. Tzuyu always used to be so confident, just like he used to be. But now, standing there in front of him, she seems so nervous and almost shy.

"No, it's... It's fine..." Seonghwa mumbles back.

"I know it's a lot to ask. But can we talk?"

Before he knows better, Seonghwa is getting seated at a table at the bar with his ex-girlfriend. They both order a drink, and if Seonghwa didn't need one before he definitely does now.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asks her, before taking a well needed sip of his drink.

"I want to apologize. For treating you the way I did. I'm really sorry, Seonghwa."

"Oh..." Seonghwa is surprised by her words, but he doesn't want to admit that they somehow don't really matter to him besides that. He hasn't given her or their failed relationship much thought after the break up. "Don't worry about it."

The rest of the night goes by better than expected. Talking with Tzuyu is somewhat comforting in that matter that although he can't talk about Yeosang, it kind of feels like a relief.

"I broke up with Kris awhile back," Tzuyu suddenly says, tugging a lock of her brown hair behind her ear, "I... I realized I was so much happier with you. I know we can't go back, I just... I just really hope we can be friends at least. We've known each other for so long." 

"I don't know... I need time to think about that. You... You hurt me a lot, Tzuyu..."

"I know... And I'm sorry... Hey, let me get the next round, okay?" she smiles, briefly running her hand against Seonghwa's before getting up and heading towards the bar.

~

Seonghwa wakes up the next morning feeling more hung-over than ever before. He doesn't even remember how the night had ended, which confuses him as he has never experienced a black out like this. He rubs his sore eyes, while a mean headache is hammering in his head.

He instantly stops moving when he feels an arm wrapping itself around his chest. He feels scared to even turn his head and look, but he knows he has to eventually.

"Tzuyu...?" he whispers in disbelief.

Seonghwa feels like his heart stops beating when he realizes what has happened. Or what he assumes has happened. They are lying in bed together, naked, and there's really only one explanation to that. He might not remember a single thing, but he has no clue how to otherwise explain the situation.

"Good morning," Tzuyu's sweet voice mumbles in his ear, while she places a soft kiss on his cheek.

"What... What happened?" Seonghwa doesn't want to ask that question, but he has to.

"Aww, honey, you were that drunk?" Tzuyu laughs softly, "You were so good to me last night though."

"I-I have to go!" Seonghwa rolls out of the bed, not wanting to hear a single word more come out of her mouth.

He searches the room for his clothes which has been thrown all over the floor. The floor of a hotel room he's never been in before. While getting dressed he feels like crying and kicking something at the very same time. How could this happen to him?

"Seonghwa..." Tzuyu looks at him from the bed, clearly dissatisfied. "What are you doing?"

"I just... I just have to go, I'm sorry. This shouldn't have happened!" Seonghwa almost trips over his own feet while trying to get his shoes on. He is doing everything he can not to look at her meanwhile, he feels so ashamed of what he has done and looking at her only makes it way too real.

"What do you mean? I thought you wanted to get back together? That's what you told me last night?"

"I..." Seonghwa stops just as he is about to open the door. With a heavy sigh he finally turns to look at her. The girl he used to love so much, the one he thought he was going to spend his entire life with. "I'm sorry if I said that. I... I didn't mean it. To be honest. I'm in love with someone else."

~

Seonghwa runs down the street, trying to locate where he is. When he finally finds a subway station he recognizes he storms down the stairs to catch the next train. The memories from last night is still scattered all over, with plenty of blank spots he just can't seem to fill out. But at the same time it doesn't seem as important to him at all. In his mind, there is only one thing that matters.

He has to get Yeosang back. No matter what.

The train ride is only two stops, but it feels like forever before Seonghwa is finally back at the dorm. But instead of going to his own room, he heads straight towards the opposite part of the building. He knows he might end up getting more hurt than he already is, but he is willing to take the chance. He sprints down the hall-way, heart pounding in his chest, until he finally reaches the door he is looking for. Now, he just prays he can get the answers he is looking for.

"Seonghwa?" Wooyoung looks confused when he opens the door. "Are you okay? You look kind of..."

"Yeah, I look like shit," Seonghwa cuts him off, totally out of breath, "I need your help. Y-you need to tell me about Yeosang."

"Wha-what do you want to know?" Wooyoung asks, even more confused than before.

"Everything. I want to know everything."

"Seonghwa..." The look on Wooyoung's face changes drastically when he realizes what Seonghwa actually means. "I-I don't think I'm the one to tell you..."

"Please. You have to. I am begging you, Wooyoung."

"Fine... Come on, in."