Beauty & The Nerd

Part 22

I pulled apart after a while, she dint seem angry or shocked or anything, it was a good sign, but she dint say anything too, she just kept on staring at me silently and I dint know what to make out of the situation.

Maybe it was because I just dint know how to kiss or I was a terrible kisser and she was shocked or something.

Before I could ask her anything or even say something she grabbed my face and smashed her lips against mine, I was stunned, she kissed me like she needed me, you know that feeling you get when someone kisses you a certain way? Khushi's kiss was saying a lot to me.

I dint want to ruin this moment so I gave in, I let her kiss me the way she wanted and I tried to respond hoping I actually knew how to do it.

She dint stop until she needed to breath and that's when she pulled apart and inhaled a few deep breaths and then stared at me once again. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it again, I don't know what she wanted to say but it was making me scared.

"Say whatever you want to." I said.

"No, it was stupid, let it be." She shrugged as she looked away from me, now I was curious, I wanted to know what was going on in her mind.

"You know I won't judge you for anything Khushi, just tell me what's going on in your mind." I looked at her seriously.

"Okay, when you kissed me I liked it that's why I kissed you back and I know you did it because you have feelings for me and you know all the relationship's I've ever had, were the no strings attached kind of, so I was just thinking maybe we could do the same but then I realized it was stupid and it would end up hurting you." She said.

"Why would you want a no strings attached kind of a relationship with me?" I looked at her curiously, this girl was really confusing at times.

"I guess it's because I haven't been with anyone in a while and I just have some needs."

"You could be in a normal relationship with me then, it would be different than all the relationship's you've been in, it would be beautiful Khushi, and don't you want to experience that?"

"At the cost of hurting you? No thanks."

"Why do you think you would hurt me?"

"Because that's how I am, I know myself and you are a great person, we've become friends and I don't want to lose that. Even the idea of a no strings attached relationship was stupid, I guess it was just the kiss, it left me yearning for more but that was it.

Anyway forget we had this discussion okay? We came here, it was beautiful, and we kissed that's it." She said as she stood up and tried to walk away, how long was she going to run away from her feelings?

I grabbed her hand and pulled her back, she looked at me in surprise but dint say anything.

"Tell me Khushi, what is wrong with me? Why can't I be the one for you?" I asked.

"The only wrong thing is that you can be the one Arnav, and I don't want that." She pulled out her hand from my hold and walked away, what did she even mean by that? Why was she confusing me so much?

Since her conversation with her parents, I was so sure she felt something for me, and today when she kissed me back, I could confirm it, but then she was still acting like this, what was her problem?

I stood up and rushed behind her trying to catch up with her pace.

"Khushi! You can't walk away like this, I need to know things." I shouted.

"What things Arnav? You told me you were okay with being friends, now why are you doing this?" she shouted back but dint stop walking.

"Because then I believed that you dint have feelings for me, now I think otherwise." I shouted back, she stopped walking and turned around to look at me in shock.

"What makes you think that I feel anything for you?" She asked.

"The way you kissed me, why would you kiss me if you dint feel a thing for me Khushi, why are you trying to push me away? You know it too, you do feel for me, you are just too stubborn to accept it."

"Arnav a kiss doesn't mean that I have feelings for you, I've kissed so many guys and I've never had feelings for them. It was just lust okay so that's it, get over it, I told you before and I'm telling you again, I can't have feelings for you so please stop thinking that way." She shouted angrily.

"Is it so Khushi? Fine if that is the truth then let's just stay away from each other, because I don't want to keep thinking you have feelings for me when you don't. Let's end this friendship and everything, let's go separate ways, I'm sure it won't hurt you because you don't have any feelings for me." I said.

"Why are you doing this Arnav?" She looked at me sadly, I felt bad for hurting her but this was the only way I had to make her realize that just because her father committed some mistakes and she was like him, it dint mean she would do the same thing. They were two different people, but I couldn't tell her that clearly, she had to realize it on her own and believe that she deserved love otherwise she was always going to be like she is now.

"I am doing this because it's hurting me being just friends with you, it would be easier to stay away from you Khushi but why are you sad, you don't have any feelings for me right?"

"But we were good friends Arnav, everything was so good between us, please don't ruin it, you are the only true friend I have, what will I do without you?"

"Whatever you were doing before we became friends." I said bitterly, I never knew I could be so bitter to her, and it was hurting me so much, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her, but she wouldn't learn things without being hurt and that was the only way out so I was willing to do it.

"Will you at least drop me home?" She asked after a long silence, I nodded positively as the both of us walked towards the car and got inside as I drove her home.

She sat silently in the car looking out of the window and avoiding eye contact with me, I couldn't get it, why was she so stubborn.

She could at least talk to me, tell me what was going on in her mind and I could help her, but no, she just wanted to be so stubborn and lose me too.

"Can I still come to visit Anjali?" She asked suddenly.

"No." I replied plainly.

"But she's my brother's girlfriend, you can't tell me to stop talking to her."

"I dint tell you not to talk to her, you can visit her at school or whenever she is with Kabir, but you can't come home to visit her, especially when I am around." I said.

"So you think detaching yourself from me completely will make me have feelings for you?"

"No, I think it will make my feelings for you disappear because honestly, this hurts so bad so it's better to forget about it all." I replied, she looked at me silently, maybe wondering how I had become this terrible person suddenly.

I parked the car outside her house and waited for her to step out but she dint, she just sat there looking at me.

"We've arrived, you can go home now." I said.

"You really are serious about all this Arnav? You seriously don't want anything to do with me anymore?" She asked.

"What do you think Khushi? That I was joking? No I wasn't, I have made my decision and I've told you about it, this is it."

"So it's a goodbye?"

"Yes, goodbye Khushi."

She nodded as she stepped out and pushed the door so hard it made my heart skip a beat, she walked away without turning to look back.

How I wish I could tell her how much this was hurting me, and without her I felt like nothing, everything about me was her, and doing this was causing me pain too, but it was the only option I could think of at the moment.

I reversed the car and drove home, there wasn't much traffic today so it dint take me long, when I walked in, I found Kabir and Anjali there.

"What happened?" Anjali asked, she could notice my moods in a second, she always knew when something was wrong with me.

"I ended mine and Khushi's friendship." I replied as I sat down beside her, she wrapped her arm around me and hugged me.

"That was what Kabir and I were going to suggest you do." She said. Well it looked like we had a plan.