By The Way I'm Not Sure (Jai Waetford Fan Fiction)

Chapter 5 - Shout Into The Void

The next day as I walked through the school gates Jai ran up to me.

"Hey!" He says and I look at him with a frown.

"Just because I accidentally kiss you in the middle of a road while rain was pouring down on top of us, does not mean you are forgiven and able to hang out with me." I say and continue to walk, but he follows me.

"Says the one who has no friends." He says and I quickly turn a corner. Thankfully he leaves me alone. I walk to English and find myself stuck with Jai the whole lesson. Stupid teacher.

"Why won't you forgive me?" He asks.

"That's a stupid question." I say and he doesn't reply. By the end of the day I think I was thankful that Jai was hanging around me. Everyone was picking on me and despite my ignorance, Jai stuck up for me.

After school we walk home together and pick up Kayla from her school on the way. The whole time while Jai was talking to Kayla he kept glancing at me, but a long glance.

"Gemma wouldn't answer me as to why you guys broke up. Jai, why?" She asks, he looks at me for a moment and I shake my head a bit without Kayla noticing and he turns back to her.

"Kayla I can't answer as to why we broke up. I'm sorry." He says and she groans and runs up the stairs of our house and slams the door.

"She really does have an attitude." He says.

"I know." I say and sit down on the path up against the fence. Jai joins me on the inexplainable grey ground and stares at me.

"Why'd you kiss me yesterday?" He asks.

"I don't know. The kiss yesterday is another unexplainable event in time." I say and he looks straight forward. Not at me, not at anything, just aimlessly.

"Why?" I ask and he doesn't reply.

"Why?" I say again after a minute.

"Because it means something to me. The kiss may have just been a spur of the moment thing for you, but it meant something to me." He says, sounding quite irritated by my constancy, so he stands up and I stand up after him.

"Why?" I repeat again.

"Because I love you Gemma." He says and stares into my eyes. Like he was trying to in grave, 'I love you Gemma - from Jai' in capital letters on my soul. I just stand there, shocked. I knew he wasn't over our relationship, but I didn't think he'd admit it.

"I know it is just a shout into the void, but I love you." He says.

"How can I trust you anymore though, Jai?" I argue and he continues to stare into my eyes, trying to make a point obviously. I didn't want to break the connection either. I love him too, but like I said, I can't trust him with anything! Tears bubble in my eyes and I'd hate myself if I'd let them fall. Once he has said nothing after a while and I get the confidence, I speak.

"How can you be so immature as to think I'd believe you if you said it wasn't your fault? How could you think I'd trust you again after everything you've done to me? You've broken me too far and I don't want to feel that anymore." I say and he continues to stand there and watch me as I walk away and into my house. I walk up into my room and sink down the closed door. My eyes give in and there I am; once again sitting on my floor, crying about a boy. I need to get away from him.

My mum tried to lure me out of my room and all I felt like was a fish. A thing who'd only suffered all the time and they wanted it to suffer worse than it already had.

***

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