I'm sorry, Kakashi... (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 11

(f/n) POV

I was lying on the bed, Kakashi above me. I had my hands in his hair and he had one hand on my waist. We were looking at each other. Then he kissed me one last time and collapsed beside me, his head on my chest. He placed my hand in his hair and took my other hand in his.

- (f/n), can I ask you a question ?

- Of course, what is it ?

- Did you ever do it with someone else before ?

- Do it...? Do what ?

- Well, did you ever have a boyfriend ?

- A boyfriend ? No. It wasn't my boyfriend.

He lifted his head to look at me.

- So, you did do something with someone ?

- No, why are you saying this ?

I tried to look the calmer possible. I wasn't ready to talk about what Orochimaru did to me. I was anything except ready for this.

- It's okay if you don't want to talk to me about this yet. But... I'd like to know everything about you sooner or later. So, I hope you'll tell me someday.

- I will. I promise.

He rested his head on my chest. It was quiet. We were appreciating our moment together when he asked me something.

- Baby ?

- Mhmm ?

- Can you play with my hair ? I love that. Please ?

- Ugh... You're the one that I should call baby.

- Pleaseeeee !

- Okay, but I want to ask you a question too. And you have to answer.

- Deal.

So, I started playing with his hair. "How can he have such soft hair ?" I asked myself.

- So, did you ever have a relationship ? You know, anything with a girl...... Or a boy ! You know what I mean.

- Well, I never had a girlfriend nor kissed someone.

- You never liked someone else ?

There was a moment of silence before he answered me.

- It's okay. I didn't mean to-

- I... I did. I liked you... and a girl named Rin.

He started crying. I felt my heart tighten. Was that jealousy ?

- Do you still like her ?

- No, I think. It was a while ago. I was like 11 at the time. But still, I'll never forget her.

I started to feel concerned. What happened to this girl ? Why Kakashi was so sad when he was pronouncing her name ? Then, I started to understand.

- She died, right ?

He started crying even more intensely than before.

- Did someone kill her ?

I understood I asked to much when he started making loud sobbing noise while crying. All his muscles stiffened, and he hugged me harder and harder.

- I... I did... I killed... Rin.

- I'm sorry Kashi, I never should have asked.

- It's... okay. I want you... to know. Because you're my... hope in this world... Everyone... Everyone else already... died.

- Shh... Stop talking. It's okay...

I kept playing with his hair and cuddling his back with my other hand. When he became calmer, I tried to cheer him up a little.

- Hey, Kashi ?

- Mhmm ?

- You soaked my t-shirt with your tears. I feel really wet right now.

He looked at me with naughty eyes. I realized what I just said.

- NOT LIKE THAT ! Oh my god, you're such a perv.

He laughed for the first time since a long moment. Mission accomplished ! He had huge puffy eyes, his cheeks were all wet, his hair was a mess (thanks to me), but he had the cutest smile ever.

- I'm really lucky to be able to see you like this, Kashi.

- Uh ? You're happy to see me crying my life out ?

- What ? No, not like that at all. I mean that I'm really lucky that you trust me enough to show this part of you in front of me.

- I trust you with my life, (f/n). I don't have anyone else except you. Well, maybe except Guy but he's really annoying sometimes. ... You know, in all these 20 years, I never stopped thinking about you.

I felt so bad lying to him about Orochimaru. I liked him so much. I just wanted a normal life ! A normal life with the guy that count the most for me. I had to tell him, but I didn't want the destruction of the Leaf. I had to think of something and fast. I only had 4 weeks until the Chunin Exam.

Sorry, I didn't have a lot of inspiration so it's a pretty shitty chapter but I needed to settle a few things for chapters in the future !