I'm sorry, Kakashi... (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 30

Kakashi POV

I couldn't believe my eyes. (f/n) was standing in front me. The girl I searched for weeks was there, right in front of me. I honestly thought I was dreaming. I pinched myself, closing my eyes and, when I reopened them, I saw :

- Itachi ? What the actual fuck are you doing here ?

He didn't respond. (f/n) turned to face him and asked :

- Can you take us to our apartment please ? You know how much I hate hospitals and I don't want us to be interrupted by anybody.

He nodded at her and came closer to the bed reaching his hand out to me.

I looked confused at (f/n). Does she really want me to hold the hand of a psychopath like him ? Nah...

- Kakashi. Give him your hand. Now.

I gave him my hand and we got teleported inside my apartment. I couldn't stand up, so I started falling, but Itachi catched me.

- Don't touch me, you psycho. By the way, what are you doing here ?

- Look, I'm sorry. I thought you was searching (f/n) because she was affiliated with Orochimaru. I found her tied up at Orochimaru's hideout earlier, so I brought her here. But she'll tell you everything herself. I need to leave before someone sees me of anything.

I was just so confused. (f/n) gave a hug at Itachi. Uhmmmmm... Why is she giving a hug at Itachi ?

- See you soon Ichi ! Love you.

WHY IS SHE CALLING HIM ICHI ? IS THAT "LOVE YOU" THAT I HEARD ? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING !?

- Contact me if there's anything. I love you too, big sis. Oh, and Kakashi ?

- Y-yeah ?

- If you mess up with her, I'll kill you for real this time.

- G-got it.

He made a goodbye sign and disappeared. Too much things were happening right now. I just fell on the couch, trying to figure out what happened.

- Are you okay, Kashi ?

- I just don't understand a thing. The last thing I know is that I was losing consciousness after the Tsukuyomi of Itachi. And then, he was here, saying he was sorry and that he saved you. And now, you just said "I love you" to each other. I- I just don't know what to think anymore.

I started crying. I didn't know... It was just too much emotions at the same time.

- Do you need a hug ?

- Y-yeah...

She sat on the couch next to me and wrapped her arms around me.

- I- I searched you everyday since you were gone. And I still couldn't save you. I'm so sorry for being that weak. I'm glad Itachi saved you, but... What is he to you ?

She lifted her head up and smirked a little.

- Don't worry Kakashi. Itachi is my best friend, my little brother. I don't love him the way I love you. He's a little too much overprotective tho.

- And you're okay with the fact that he killed his entire clan ?

- Well, long short story : it was an order from the elders and the 3rd Hokage. He did it to protect the village. That's why he can enter and leave the village so easily, he has the "password" to enter it without being sensed. He's really not a bad guy. He would do anything to protect his brother.

The Hokage ordered to kill the entire Uchiha clan ? WHAT THE HELL ?

- Oh... I don't know what to say... I'm just glad you're okay. You don't know how much I was worried for you, how much I missed you.

- I missed you too, dobe.

- So, will you tell me what happened to you ? Itachi told you were tied up or something like that, I think ?

- I'll tell you later. Right now, I just want to...

She climbed on me, sitting on my lap. She pulled off my mask and rushed her lips on mine. I put my hands on her back, pulling her closer to me. Damn I missed that proximity. She traveled her hands in my silver hair. After a few minutes of intense kissing, she started to lower her hands down to the bottom of my shirt. Once she reached the end of it, she lifted it up to get it over my head. I didn't care more than that. I mean, if she preferred to have a better look at me, I could understand. But, no kidding, I knew we weren't going to have sex anyway.

Well... That was until she started taking off her shirt and that I saw she wasn't wearing a bra. I was clearly flabbergasted right now. When I touched her back to pull her closer again, something felt wrong. Yes, she was shivering. I thought she was maybe cold, so I just pulled her closer to my body, wrapping my arms around her. She started shivering even more intensely.

I pushed her gently away from me to ask her what was wrong. When I was going to say something, I felt something down there. Her hands were in my pants, grabbing my member.

OKAY. SOMETHING WAS WRONG HERE.

(f/n) POV

I thought that Kakashi would probably love me more if I had sex with him. I mean, that's what every man wants, no ? Well, at least, every man that used to be close to me. Even Itachi wanted to have it with me back in the days ! So, I decided to kick my ass and to finally give him what he wanted. It just wouldn't be fair for him that all those men that raped me in the past weeks could have a taste of me, when the man I love the most couldn't. I thought it would help him to swallow the pill : I was a used, a second-hand girl.

So, I put my hands in his pants, taking out his member. Before I could start to jerk him off, he took my hand in his.

- What are you doing ? What's wrong with you ?

- What do you mean ? I'm just trying to pleasure my boyfriend.

- Why ?

- What do you mean why ? You don't want to have sex with me ?

I didn't know why, but I felt angry. It was probably the thought that he didn't even desire me. I felt like I didn't value anything. If my boyfriend didn't even want me ? Who would ? I was just a sex toy for the others, now.

- Of course, I want to. Believe me, you're the most beautiful woman on earth. What I don't believe is that you want to.

- Why would I do that otherwise ? I'm not forced or anything. I do it because I want to.

- Then why are you shivering ? That's exactly how your panic attacks start. I know you (f/n), even more than you know yourself.

Was I shivering ? I didn't even notice. But he was right. I was so scared. I didn't know how to explain it. It was hell. A nightmare that was starting over and over again : precisely 47 times in the past weeks.

I looked down, trying to control myself to not end in a panic attack.

- So, what's wrong ? What happened in these past weeks ?

- C-Can we just go in the bed ? You're right, I might have a panic attack. And I...

- Yeah, yeah, no problem. Say no more.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. I nodded to him and he stood up, almost falling.

- I can walk, you know. You're the injured one.

- I'm not injured, just out of chakra. And no, you can't walk.

I chuckled and buried my face in his neck.

- I love how you know me so well.

- And I love you. Never doubt that. Never.

Uh... I feel like my chapter are crap. I'll probably rewrite them someday. I mean, (f/n) is a lot like me. So yeah, lots of trust issues, crappy mental health, panic attacks, 0 confindence in me. Sorry if (f/n) is a lame character. I am a lame person, so \_(ツ)_/