Erwin Smith x Reader One Shots

💔 Priorities 💔

Written: November 26, 2019

Takes Place: 1 year before breach of Shiganshina.

Request: Not a request

Note: I edited this to be less cringe.

~~~

"You've been distant lately. Is everything okay? Are you okay?" Erwin looked to the side. His eyebrows were furrowed, like he was deeply troubled. You looked at him waiting for an answer.

"We can't be together." You smiled.

"Erwin. Stop teasing me. Seriously, what's wrong?"

"We can't be together." You frowned.

"That's not a funny joke Erwin."

"We can't be together." His serious face told you he wasn't lying.

"What?" You whispered.

"We can't. We just... can't." He got up.

"Why? What are you talking about? Did I do something?" He looked away from your heartbroken face.

"No. We're comrades. Our relationship is inappropriate. There are too many risks. And... we're both going for command. I want this. I need to get the position." He started walking towards his office. You followed him.

"You're throwing us away because of the job?"

"Yes. If you aren't ready to throw family, friends, relationships, and virtually anything you care about out, you're not ready for the job. I want to prove to the higher ups I am ready." You looked at him not believing a single word he said.

"Erwin. This isn't you." You put a hand on his arm. He jerked it away from you.

"You don't actually believe-"

"I do. And I will get command. Goodbye Y/n." He started walking faster to his office.

"Wait. Erwin! Listen to me!"

"You're not going to change my decision." Your heart dropped.

"What happened to you? You said you loved me. I-I love you!"

"That means nothing."

"That's not true."

"Fine. How's this? I don't love you." You froze, but then snapped out of your trance.

"Erwin, please. Can we talk about this?"

"No. The conversation is over."

"Erwin. You don't actually mean that. Right? We-"

"I said it's over." He got into his office and slammed the door in your face. The sound of the door made you jump. You lingered there, hoping it was a dream. You tried opening the door. It was locked.

"Erwin? Why are you doing this?" You tried the door again, your eyes filling with tears. Hanji was passing by in the hall, and she saw you there struggling with the door.

"What's wrong?" You turned around. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Hanji walked towards you.

"What happened?" You were trembling. Hanji hugged you.

"He said we're over." You whispered.

"Let's go somewhere more private." They walked into your office. Once they were inside and the door was closed, you started sobbing. Hanji hugged you and petted your hair.

"Shhhhh. What happened?"

"He- broke up with me. I don't understand." You cried more.

"What did I do?!" Hanji continued to stroke your hair.

"He said- he said he doesn't love me anymore Hanji. He doesn't love me."

"He doesn't mean it Y/n, you know how determined he is to become Commander."

"You didn't see his face Hanji. It was so cold. He meant it. I thought this competition would be a friendly rivalry, but I was so wrong. If I knew it would cause this, I would never have signed up." A sob ripped through you.

"But Y/n, it's been your dream to be Commander of one of the regiments."

"It wasn't my dream to lose the man I love! I-I would never have joined if I had known. If I had known..."

Erwin stood outside the door. His hand was clenched tightly by his side, and each knuckle was white. 'It has to be like this Y/n. Who the hell knows if we'll even be alive tomorrow. This is to protect the both of us. I'm sorry. I really am because I still love you.'

6 years later

"Commander Y/n! You're being summoned to an emergency meeting in the Trost District with all of the other military leaders!"

"Ready my horse immediately!"

"Yes Commander!" You rode to the base within 2 hours where you were greeted by the other leaders.

"Nile, nice to see you again."

"Mmm. Y/n, it's been a while."

"Commander Pyxis." You shook his hand.

"Y/n." You were second in command of the Garrison Regiment, and the only person above you was Pyxis.

"I'm sure you've all heard that the Scout Regiment is returning this afternoon." Spoke Premier Zachary.

"Yes." You all nodded in affirmation.

"Well, for now, all we can do is wait for them. And for Wall Maria's sake, pray!" You murmured a small whisper of hope that they all came back safe.

Two hours later

"Commanders! The Scout Regiment is back!!" Everyone stood up and looked expectantly at the messenger.

"Well, out with it boy!" The messenger was panting, quite out of breath.

"On-ly. Nine. Sur-viv-ors. Beast Titan. Wiped. Out. Whole. Survey. Corps." He finally caught his breath.

"Only NINE?!"

"Who are the survivors?!!"

"Commander Erwin Smith perished in the battle." Your heart stopped.

"The new Commander is Hanji Zoe. The nine survivors are-" The rest was drowned out. Your breath got caught in your throat and you were suddenly very aware of yourself. Your right hand was clenched tightly against your leg, and your left hand covered your mouth. You felt like throwing up, screaming, and sobbing at the same time.

You stood up abruptly and brushed past the messenger, trying to suppress your sobs. The men in the room watched you leave. Pyxis had a sad, knowing look on his face. Anyone who wasn't blind could tell you still loved Erwin. Even though you hadn't even spoken 20 words to him in the last 6 years, you still had had hope.

"Excuse me." Nile followed after you. You walked outside and leaned against a pillar. You felt lost, like you had lost everything, and you had. Because Erwin was your everything.

"Y/n." You looked up at Nile, his face was solemn, he was grieving as well. Your eyes fell to the ground again.

"It's okay to cry."

"Leaders don't cry."

"They do." You looked up at Nile again. Tears streamed down his face. You, Nile, and Erwin used to be best friends during your cadet years, so this was a terrible blow to him too.

"I know you loved him. And I'm sorry." He hugged you and you sobbed uncontrollably into his shoulder.

"God. Damnit. Erwin!!! Of course I. *sob* Still. *sob* Love him."

"That fucking idiot." whispered Nile affectionately.

"Fucking idiot! Why did you go get killed?!!"

"Fucking idiot!" Shouted Nile.

"FUCKING IDIOT!" You shouted.

"FUCKING IDIOT!!" Nile shouted even louder. You laughed sadly.

"Thanks Nile." 'You idiot. I could've helped you. I could've saved you if you only let me be by your side. Why did I ever let go?'