Erwin Smith x Reader One Shots

💔 Closet 💔

Written: November 29, 2019

Takes place: Modern AU?

Request: Not a request

Note: This one shot isn't very gender neutral.

~~~

2 years ago

"I love you Erwin."

"I... I love you too Y/n."

1 year ago

"Do you take F/n L/n to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

Present

"So Y/n?! When are we gonna have little Y/n, Erwin babies running around the compound?" Asked Hanji. You blushed. To be honest, you and Erwin hadn't even done it yet.

"Not yet Hanji."

"Come on, wait, don't tell me! YOU HAVEN'T DONE IT YET?!!!"

"I-I... no. We haven't."

"Why not?"

"I actually don't know."

"That's weird. Here, let me ask Erwin for you!" Hanji sped ahead of you towards you and Erwin's bedroom.

"Wait! HANJI NO!" You sighed and let her run ahead.

What Hanji saw in the bedroom shocked her. She shut the door as soon as she recovered from her shock. You were walking towards her and wondered why she shut the door so abruptly.

"Hanji?" Her mouth was slightly agape and she didn't respond.

"What is it? What's wrong?" You reached towards the door.

"Don't go in!"

"Why?"

"Uhhhh... Erwin is naked!"

"Hanji, he's my husband, it's fine." You opened the door to your bedroom, and saw Levi hastily dressing back into his clothes.

"What's going on?" Erwin was rubbing his forehead tiredly, he only had his underwear on.

"Erwin? Levi?" You were so completely oblivious, it was killing Erwin inside.

"Y/n, I... I guess I have some explaining to do." You giggled.

"I would think so. Why was Levi getting dressed in your office?" It was kind of funny to you. Erwin rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hanji, Levi, could you leave us for a while." Hanji nodded breathlessly, and Levi just walked out. Once the two of you were alone, Erwin let out a giant sigh.

"Y/n, I... I..." You looked at him with anticipation. Erwin couldn't bare to look at you in the eyes, so he looked to the side and told you the truth.

"Y/n, I don't like women."

"Wow. That's pretty misogynistic."

"Y/n, that's not what I mean." he breathed out. "I'm gay." You were shocked, but stayed supportive for your husband.

"Oh. But that makes you bi right? Since-"

"No. I'm gay."

"I don't understand."

"I'm sorry Y/n. I never loved you." You covered your mouth.

"But it's not because of you or anything!! You really are a wonderful woman, but I'm just not attracted to your sex." You were shaking, and you fell to your knees, still covering your mouth.

"Them whyb u mari mip?"

"What?" You uncovered your mouth.

"Then why'd you marry me?" Erwin looked away again, he felt tremendously guilty.

"Who would accept a gay commander Y/n? No one. Only someone like you because you're kind, but not everyone is like that. They would want me to step down, and eventually I'd be fired."

"I understand that. But why would you pretend by marrying me? Couldn't you have stayed single?!!" He looked away.

"Instead, you led me on to think you loved me. You told me you loved me!" Tears streamed out of your eyes. "We got married! If you had just told me from the start... God. Why?! Why me?"

"You were the closest thing to my ideal person, you were just... female. You were a suitable and respectable choice for a person in my position."

"Suitable? Really? We slept in the same bed. We kissed, we dated, we... we..." You sobbed.

"You were just faking the whole time? Tell me. Tell me truthfully. Did you ever feel anything for me?"

"No. I'm sorry."

"All those times I said I loved you, were you laughing at me?" You looked up sadly at him.

"No, no, no. I never meant to do it maliciously Y/n. Never. I'm sorry. I really am."

"Sorry can't reverse time. Sorry can't make me stop falling in love with you. Sorry can't take back our marriage. Sorry can't heal my heart. Don't you see? Don't you understand?"

"You're right. I was selfish."

"Were you disgusted when you touched me? When you kissed me? When you had to pretend we were the happiest couple in the world? Of course, I thought everything was so perfect. I was so oblivious. Am I that disgusting Erwin?"

"No Y/n." His eyes filled with tears. Even though he didn't love you romantically, you were still his best friend and it hurt so much to see you in pain.

"Yeah." Your voice broke. "You cry. You cry because you were the one who was tricked right? Because you were the one who fell in love with the person who will never love you? Because you were the one who was tricked into this marriage?"

"I never meant... Y/n. I never meant-" He choked out. Tears ran down his cheeks. The same cheeks you had kissed only a day ago.

"You never meant to hurt me? Is that what you're about to say? You never meant to not hurt me either. You knew what you were doing. And you still did it." He dropped down to his knees next to you and held you.

"I'm sorry Y/n. I'm so sorry." He stroked your hair.

"When were you going to tell me?" You had already given up, you had slumped against him. Deep down, you couldn't hate him. You just couldn't. You couldn't.

Because... you still loved him.