GESTE [English] - GirlXGirl

Chapter 14

GESTE

I FELT the tears on my face, slowly flowing from my eyes.

Yes, Gretzel was my first. I can still feel the pain in my heart until now. Not the pain from that lovely night but the pain of losing her. Her touch, her caresses, her lips to mine, her body, her love. I balled my fist where the bracelet was located.

But I'm the one who let go and didn't get the courage to fight for her. Just like what I've said to her that I'll fight for her, but I didn't. And now, I shouldn't ruin anything for her. She deserves to be happy. I can see she's happy with my Dad now. It's good, though, that she acted like she didn't know me. At least, I have no explanation to say to her. I'm not yet ready, I think.

I lie in my bed, with my face still soaked with my uncontrolled tears.

Everything's vividly coming back to me from the past. The incredible and best months of my relationship with Gretzel. Our love-making. The make-out sessions. The trips when we can skip from her parents without noticing us. Even the fun of doing something foolish in public places. Like tripping random people and freaking them out. Gretzel always has ways of doing fun. She's the most responsible person I have known and the funniest one.

I was smiling, but tears were pouring on my face. I remembered all of Gretzel 's pranks. I'm one of her victims. She's good at doing that without getting caught.

Our happiness ended when her mother caught us having sex in her condo unit. We tried to explain things to her, but she quickly dragged me out after wearing my clothes. She curses me and mocks the two of us. Her mother was a sweet person, but she was also fierce when angry.

I got fired immediately after that. I can still see Nika's face on my mind smirking victoriously. My scholarship has not been affected because they have paid it the entire year, and luckily they didn't pull it out. Also, that's only a week before our graduation.

Mr. Salazar came to my house and threatened Inay and me. He wants me to leave his daughter. He said he would kill all the people I love, that I would not doubt Mr. Salazar would do because I know he can easily do that. I was afraid, not for my life but for Inay, Abel, and Cheena. He also said he would not hesitate to tear me down if I told anyone about what he said.

I'm torn, but I decided to choose my family. Inay and I packed out and went far away. I haven't informed or talked with any of my BFFs because I don't want them to be involved in my situation.

As for Gretzel, I don't know what happened to her after that night. I'm sure she's suffering as much as I am. I love her, but my family is in great danger because of our forbidden love. I thought to myself, and someday if God will allow us to be with one another, then I'll see her and be with her without any complications and any hindrances.

We went to a place where no one could recognize us. I was so distressed when I found out we didn't have enough money to sustain our needs and Inay's medication. I tried finding a job and work, but it's still not enough. Inay got even sicker every day, and all I could do was cry.

Inay comforted me, but I couldn't bear just looking and not doing anything. Then Inay's health depreciated, and one afternoon when I went home, she was gone. She's dead.

I buried her with my new, also poor, neighbors in one of the public cemeteries. I don't know, but not a single tear has fallen from my eyes ever since Inay died. Maybe that was all an act, pretending that I'm strong.

After the burial, I tried to live my life, but I couldn't, so I locked myself in our small and rotten house, starved myself, and waited for my death. I was like that for how long, I don't know exactly, for Pete's sake.