Minji's Sitter | Taejin ✔️

Thirty-One

"Yes, baby, he can make you something to eat," Taehyung said as he took a deep breath and run his hand through his hair.

Minji eyes opened wide, "Does this mean Jinnie is my babysitter again?"

"Yeah," Taehyung muttered and walked out of the room, leaving Minji and Jin.

Minji jumped into Jin's arms and hugged him tightly. "I am so happy, Jinnie. I promise you I will listen, and I won't call daddy on you ever again." Jin couldn't help but smile as he hugged her back.

"I don't mind if you call your dad on me. Just promise me that you are going to grow up and be someone great." Jin puts Minji to stand so he could look at her.

"I promise you, Jinnie. I promise." She had a broad smile on her face. She couldn't believe that her biggest wish had come through, it was though someone was listening to her cries and made it happen. Jin was back in her life, and she wouldn't have to deal with another babysitter who didn't care about her.

"That's all I want from you, baby girl. Whatever you do, don't ever become like me." Jin ruffled her hair and walked towards the kitchen.

"What's wrong with being like you, Jinnie?"

"A lot, sweetie. Now, tell me, what would you like to eat?"

*****

Taehyung watched from his window as Jin walked out of his house. He couldn't have been happier to see him leave. He knew he was going to struggle a lot having Jin in his home, but it was what his daughter wanted, and he didn't have it in him to fail her any more than he had already done.

He could hear the excitement in her voice as she spoke to Jin while he was preparing something for her to eat. She even told Jin that she got chosen to sing lead in her class for their winter festival and asked him if he could come to support her. Taehyung had no idea about any of that, he had never even heard his daughter sing, to begin with.

"I don't know if I should blame you or blame myself. Why did you have to leave us so early? You know I am no good at this. I feel like I am failing her more and more each day. I guess you were right when you said she was a lot like me, she is stubborn and so determined that it drives me insane.

Today I made a decision that I am sure I am going to regret, but I knew if I didn't, she would end up hating me. Everyone keeps yelling at me and telling me to be a parent to her, but I don't know how to. You should have been the one left with her, not me. All I keep doing is disappointing you and her, and I am sorry. Sorry I wasn't a better husband to you when you needed me to be and sorry I am not a better father to her. Some days I wish I could talk to you, I wish I had you here to fix this, fix us.

Did you know I messed up recently? I slept with her babysitter, the one she really likes, and he got pregnant. He said the baby was mine, but he aborted it. I was so angry with him, but I think I am being a hypocrite because I don't think I could've dealt with another child. My life is a mess here without you. I know we had our fights and differences, but I now realize how much you meant to me. I now get it, I now understand how alone you felt. I wish I could turn back the hands of time, even if it's just to have one more day with you, to tell you how much I love you." Taehyung held his husband photograph towards his chest and cried. For the first time in a long time, he felt lost and confused.

*****

"Is everything okay?" Namjoon asked Jin as he walked into the house. He had been sitting up waiting for Jin to come as he was worried when he saw how late it was getting, and Jin didn't come home.

He had sent Jin a text but didn't get back a response, so it left him feeling even more anxious. Although it was Jin's way of being to not respond to the message, he knew Jin had changed a lot within the last few months, especially when it came to him.

"Yeah, everything is fine. Sorry if I worried you." Jin walked over to where Namjoon was sitting and sat in his lap, leaning his head back into his chest.

"It's fine as long as you are okay. Your brother called me. He said he is really worried about and wants you to call him. I think you should talk to him, Jin." Namjoon wraps his arms around Jin and kisses him on the cheek.

Jin pulls away from him and sits on the couch, " I am going to call him, but when I am ready. Right now, I need some time. I think you are the only one who understands that. I think you are the only one who has not judged me for my actions. I know everyone thinks what I did was cruel, and maybe I was, but I wasn't ready; it gave me a familiar feeling one I didn't want."

"Tell me something, do you regret what you did?" Namjoon took Jin's hand into his and looked him in the eyes.

"The first time I didn't. It was easy, I felt free, but this time around, I feel empty. I mean, I have felt empty most of my life, but I think this time around I feel hallow like something is missing. I know you have been here for, but today after being able to see and hold Minji is the happiest I have felt in a very long time."

Namjoon pulled Jin back into his arms and hugged him tightly.

"I think you should take me up on my offer and go to therapy. I know you have your doubts and think they won't help you, but I have this friend who is amazing at what she does, and I think it will be helpful if you talk about what you did and why you did it. Maybe then you will be able to talk to your brother and forgive your parents and maybe even your uncle. You are living with a lot of pain, Jin, and if you keep adding to that pain, you are only going to keep hurting."