3:30am.
From Shay:
"Today was amazing."
-
"Well more like yesterday but whatever."
-
"I have so much to tell you but I'm scared to tell you face to face."
Seen 3:32am.
I groaned as my phone was vibrating on my bedside table, grabbing it and squinting to see who the idiot messaging me in the early hours of the morning would be. I then turned over in my bed to glare at Shay through the dark. His back was too me, but phone in front of him. All that lite the pitch black room was the white light from our phones.
To Shay:
"why cant you tell me now. we're in the same bed?"
From Shay:
"I just can't."
-
"Sorry :("
To Shay:
"don't be sorry just tell me what's bothering you (:"
From Shay:
"Cuz I'm nineteen, I can move out the house that I don't call a home now, right? I'm not living at there right now anyway but when I do leave University, I'm going to be confused as where to go. I mean I'll be what, twenty-one? That's such a mature age. I should have my own job, earn my own money and have my own house. I was just thinking. Life is so confusing. A year and a few months ago, I almost died. I mean there has been countless times when I have almost died but God keeps giving me a second, third, forth, fifth etc chance. I don't even know what to do with my life. I devote it on you though always. I care so much about you it makes me almost have panic attacks just worrying about you. I am becoming almost ill, well that's what the doctor says. The distance is destroying me as well. They're considering putting me on antidepressants to make me have that much needed uplift of my mood so I can go by on my day to day life. Bella I love you. And I see my past present and future with you and only you. I don't want to ever lose you though, but I can't take you for granted. I know I'm a dick who's hurt you so much in the past but you're so strong. I love you. I love you, I love you. I can't say that enough because that's how I feel. I love you, Isabella Rae."
My heart was pounding against my chest hard as I read his speech to me. Tears were stinging in my eyes as I read it from the overwhelming emotions.
I didn't know what to reply so I simply put my phone back on the bedside table and wrapped my arms around Shay's waist, resting my head on his back. He put his phone away too, I heard soft sniffles before he turned around to face me. It was so dark that I couldn't see his gorgeous face. However, I knew he was sad. I knew he was crying. So I felt for his lose tears that were slipping down his cheeks and wiped them instantly away. He doesn't need them ever again.
He needs me.
"I know it's scary to think about the future but it's going to be okay. If you want to move out just do it but not because of your feelings towards your guardians but because you feel as though you're ready. It's a big step Shay, but I'll always support you. If you want, we can even look for a place together in Canada. I wouldn't mind staying with you. I trust you more then I trust myself and I can rely on you too. You mean everything to me. I know you did hurt me in the past but that is over and done now, Shay. We can't change it. All we can do is make sure our future isn't as bad. It won't be. Cuz I love you and you love me." I feel for his lips with my fingers after my own speech to him, and then press my own lips against his soft ones. It started off slow and tender but gradually the passion and desire for each other grew too much for our hormones to keep up with.
It got crazy after that.
*
*
*
8:38am.
From Carlson:
"It was nice meeting him yanno he looks after u well and thats the main thing. Sorry for saying he looked like a steroid druggie"
To Carlson:
"im glad, hes a permanent part of my life (:"
From Carlson:
"okay :)"
Seen 8:40am.
8:55am.
From Zara:
"Im hoping there isnt gonna be no frickle frackle juices that I have to mop up after last night"
To Zara:
"of course not lol dont worry, its all sanitised and bleached (:"
From Zara:
"Oh Im glad or I wouldve been v grossed out as well as turned on omfg"
To Zara:
"wHAT"
From Zara:
"I may be engaged but Im not blind, I can see that your bf is hella hot okay"
Seen 8:57am.
10:23am.
From William:
"Is GayShay still here"
To William:
"yes (: and hes not gay he has an awesome gf k"
From William:
"I'm sure he wont mind ma da tho I mean who can resist"
To William:
"me most defiantly me."
From William:
"You love it really"
To William:
"hell no bro hoe"
From William:
"How damn rude :( :( :("
-
"Just cuz Shay's bigger then mines."
-
":( :("
To William:
"how did you even know that da fuq"
From William:
"I stalk babes."
-
"I have fantasies of your bf though. All last night I was thinking about him penetrating my ass."
Seen 10:26am.
I'm done. What kind of friends have I even got?! I can't help but glance at Shay sleeping peacefully with one arm around my waist in this protective way. One that won't ever understand. He knows I'm not going anywhere, well to be honest, how can I leave? This is my dormitory!
I wiggled myself out of his hold and head over to the bathroom, to brush that disgusting morning breathe out of my mouth.
After I had done I thought of the different ways I could wake Shay up. I mean he's slept enough, it's 10:35am now. So I won't feel bad about breaking him out of this lovely peaceful dream.
I straddled his waist and pressed my lips on the side of his jaw, feathering the kisses down his neck. I saw a smile creep on his face, he was slowly waking up. But I jumped off him as soon as he said the next thing, "vanessa no stop, urgh"
What.
The.
Actual.
Flipping pancakes?
VANESSA, WHY THE HELL IS HE DREAMING ABOUT THAT EVIL COW FOR? Oh my god... What happens if... if he's reliving a memory, what happens if he's cheated on me with that sneaky little skank?
I'm pissed off.
10:43am.
To Zara:
"what do you do if you think your boyfriend has been cheating on you??????????????????"
Seen 10:44am.
From Zara:
"Firstly we think about who the bf is. If its Shay, wed laugh loudly bc we both know hes so incredibly whipped over you, Izzy. I dont know why youd ever be worried."
She's right but there is that horrible doubt in the back in my head that is nagging me. That is torturing me with this little bit of evidence I have.
From Zara:
"I mean how did you find out he had????"
To Zara:
"i heard him moan his ex's and room mates name. they're the same person bw."
From Zara:
"Oh right. But yanno? That could be because he's just having a dirty dream about her it doesn't mean he's reliving a memory. And you can't really control about who your dirty dreams are about. I mean William told me this morning that he dreamed of Shay doing stuff to him last night. And remember that dream you had of Zac Effron covered in Skittles?"
To Zara:
"i guess you're right."
-
"this is why you're better then me at psychology."
-
"thank you (:"
From Zara:
"Anytime lovely, :-)"
Seen 10:47am.
But that stupid thought wouldn't leave my mind no matter how many times I tried to get over it.
So I decided to check his phone.
[ive got the next few parts typed up buttt i'll toruture you all and you'll have to wait for tomorrow to find out oooooo ;)]
