i don't know why shay was put in the hospital but i know it wasn't just because of that outburst he had at his home because he would've been discharged ages ago. i don't know if i have a right to worry then i remind myself that we're best friends. i need to care. after all, we've been through so much together. been inseparable since we were three years of age at kindergarden. can't really let that go to waste because of petty differences obviously due to hormones and puberty. right?
that night i was lying awake in bed thinking about things. just random things. i thought, i haven't had a boyfriend... ever. because whenever i'm close to getting one shay always scares them away from me. he's so overprotective it's crazy.
sometimes it's good though, to know that i have someone to keep me safe and secure always.
i stared up at my ceiling and thought about how shay and i had got into a paint fight whilst we were causally painting my room the beautiful violet colour i've always loved. over the years i've changed quite a bit. i used to be a complete tomboy. you'd never see me with my hair down or in any amount of girly clothes. two years ago i changed, i wore dresses with boots and leather jackets. skirts and converses. shorts with tank tops. i started showing off skin finally almost feeling comfortable in who i was. throughout those changes, shay has always been supportive, even through my periods. i can a real nasty piece of work then as well. he's put up with me and when he needs my help i do what i did. i realised i needed to do my return of the favour. i need to act like a best friend should again.
1:15am.
To Shay:
"hey"
Seen 1:20am.
From Shay:
"hi"
To Shay:
"how are you ?"
From Shay:
"Im good"
-
"You"
Seen 1:24am
okay so now i knew this conversation was going nowhere. how did i know that? well basically if i say hey and he replies with hi, it means he's in a shit mood meaning he will do his very best to destroy me. and will succeed.
From Shay:
"?"
-
"i don't get what's the point in you sending me a message and not replying to it"
-
"if you're gonna be like that then just fuck off"
To Shay:
"No, I just was trying to think of the write thing to say."
From Shay:
"a simple i'm fine, or no i'm depressed would work don't you think isabella."
To Shay:
"yes i'm fine thank you."
From Shay:
"there you go."
To Shay:
"ok"
From Shay:
"ok"
To Shay:
"ok"
From Shay:
"would you stop flirting with me isabella henderson?!"
To Shay:
"shay i got asked out today."
-
"i said i'll think about it."
From Shay:
"by who?"
-
"which dickhead do i have to kill"
To Shay:
"no one. you don't need to kill anyone. his name is henry, and he's really sweet. i promise."
From Shay:
"henry fucking smith from science and pe? hell no. you aint going out with no henry from science and pe. he's such a pussy! you're gonna be the one with balls in that realtionship! urgh."
-
"you dont have my approval"
To Shay:
"didn't really ask for it tbh"
From Shay:
"you're actually gonna go out with him are you insane?!?!?!"
To Shay:
"yeah maybe i am. maybe i want to know what it's like to be in a relationship and to be in love maybe you've suffocated me enough okay gosh"
From Shay:
"what happened to mates before dates and being #foreveralone together huh what happened to not believing in love after what happened with me and vanessa"
-
"i thought you were different"
To Shay:
"shay you know me better then anyone, i just can't at the moment figure out what i want in life. i'm sixteen years old. i'm starting a college that i don't want to go to alone but i have to manage. i finally found someone who could be a potential lover and also a friend. didn't you always say that love is basically friendship. you can't be in love without being best friends with them first? i'm friends with henry."
From Shay:
"that only referred when i was talking about you."
To Shay:
"what are you even on about?"
Seen 1:48am.
"shay"
Seen 1:48am.
"shay answer me"
Seen 1:49am.
"shay mathers!"
Seen 1:49am.
"what do you mean by it only referred when you talked about me, when have you talked about me? to who?"
Seen 2:55am.
