I wasn't doing anything completely reckless. I was only on the cold hard pavement floor thinking about life as it was draining from me from as the high amount of alcohol was in my system. I've always been told to 'loosen up' by my brother, especially as how I had such a high phobia of the powerful and disgusting liquid. I've downed two large bottles of vodka and I feel like everything is going crazy in my head, but outside my legs can't even support my body. I feel weird.
But it's helped mask the heartbreak.
I had my phone turned off, and I headed straight to a local bar, shamelessly attempted to flirt my way to getting free booze, and now I'm outside on the pavement staring at the sky. Luckily there isn't many people passing by. I would very easily be judged.
I didn't know what the time was anymore, but I knew it was getting quite late now. The sun was slowly going behind the clouds and it being winter, means that it gets darker quickly.
I was lying on the floor with shattered pieces of the bottles around my bare skin, and I didn't bother to make any effort to move. I felt completely drained.
I was mentally and physically tired of life.
I managed to find the power inside me to shut my eyes but that lasted only for a few seconds, maybe just a minute, and loud piercing siren noises were heard. I groaned. It can't be that late? No-one has had a bar fight yet, have they? That's seems to be one of the main problems in Scotland.
But it wasn't for them, it was for me. I just didn't realise why, until later on.
When I was sober.
*
I winced at the pounding headache I was receiving after I slowly opened my eyes, allowing the new found hospital bedroom light into me. I narrowed my eyes in confusion as to how I had even got here in the first place.
Yawning slightly, I carefully looked around the room for clues and eventually found the biggest one sprawled out on a tiny armchair beside my bed. He looked absolutely exhausted, as if he had been up for ages watching me and worrying about me. I say, karma.
I did that for him didn't I?
A male doctor walks into the room and smiles at me kindly, "oh it's lovely to see you finally awake miss Hanson." then he shifts his eyes to the uncomfortable sleeping shay and he smiles once more, "he's been here for the whole two days, refuses to go home. you have yourself a keeper there." No, I have myself a cheater actually.
"Yep." I nod my head wearily and he checks his notes that's resting on his clipboard and comes closer to my bed to examine me.
"Okay Miss Hanson, can you tell me all that you remember, please?" what from Adam and Eve?
"Um. Not much, I remember leaving my dormitory, getting free booze, smashing glasses, lying on the floor and sirens; thats it really." I shrug.
He nods his head and continues to write things down on his board clipboard. I hope it's good stuff about me.
"I see. Okay, it's quite a positive thing that you remember the important stuff. Now, I will take it that he is your boyfriend and not your brother judging by the amount of kisses he's placed on your lips, anyways he was the one who created the search party for you as he was worried that it was very unusual that you would have your phone off. At first, the police didn't think it was a big enough case to look for you, but then there was reports of a drunken behaviour that deemed to be leading to quite suicidal. You were walking along the edge of a bridge, do you remember that? Also, you had cut your arms quite deeply on the bottles, I don't know if it was intentionally or not. That is why your arms are bandaged up." I look down to my arms that I didn't even notice first of all. They were in long white cotton bandages, from my wrist up to the elbow. Oh my. I don't remember walking across a bridge? Was I really that drunk?
This is why I never touch alcohol, it's ever so scary.
It was now that Shay stirred and woke up with a start, looking around the room alarmed as if he had had a nightmare, the he notices me and smiles. That smile drops shortly after however, maybe reality hitting him. Yes Shay, things have changed between us.
Maybe for the better.
*
3:54pm.
To Zara:
"im not allowed to leave the hospital until my arms begin to heal. urgh."
Seen 4:06pm.
From Zara:
"I can understand where the doctors are coming from tho. They dont want the spread of infections occurring in your open wombs."
To Zara:
"it doesnt help the fact that tyou actually want to be a doctor so you'll back the doctors no matter what."
From Zara:
"Funny because its true."
-
"Anyways recover quick, I cant wait to see you again. Damn that stupid hospital and its 'one visitor only' rule. Damn Shay for being that one visitor also damn Shay for causing all this."
-
"Urghhhhhhhhhhh:("
To Zara:
"dont worry he needs to go back to canada soon enough, you can visit then, or maybe i'll be better by then?"
From Zara:
"Yessss ohmygosssshhh"
-
"I hope sooo Im soooo exicted"
-
"Hope he leaves soon oops ?"
To Zara:
"he keeps staring at me, i think he wants to 'talk'..."
From Zara:
"Good luck ! Dont give him a 100% hard time, he's already been worried about the thought of you dying at stuff. William told me Shay called William. William also got prettyyy boosted. Then again, Carlson is pretty scary."
-
"Dont text back. Talk to him."
