Seeking SOMNUS

22.

When I came back in my room. I was all alone, a mere thought hit me, do I find myself comfortable more in the company of no one, or it scares me rather that I'm left with no one. I picked my journal, after the real long time, I witnessed something bewitching. I had my mind battling over, what is this a newly added emotion or it's just something already been there but heightened up for present.

Theo, the stranger with same pain, same agony and dealing with the same cruel world. As there I was so happy for him, yet have an uneasy feeling for the date that's about to arrive. Everytime it's thought tear me down into million pieces. I'm hurt and I'm supposed to get used to it, or that's what the society asked me to do. But I can't. All I know I can't just used to the pain. No one can.

This time of the year, everything already looked drifting away but I just stand there and feel it all going through me. The hurt is too big, my heart has failed to carry it.

As I was lost in my mind, my phone rang.

It was Theo.
"Hey" I managed to sound sane.

"Hey, I was thinking of how about you and Fin catch up. Earlier I asked about?" He asked.

"Yea, it sounds fine. When can we meet?"

"Tomorrow at 3 pm"

"Alright" and I hung up.

As I hung up, I fell on my bed, curve myself into a ball and sink in those memories.

It hurts so bad that I don't even cry anymore. It just silence. Silence all over. Haunting agonising painful sickening silence, where my mind is only one screams so loud almost driving me crazy and deafening my senses.

---
THEO

I had slept, calmly not for long last night but I slept it was the progress.

It was half past two, and Fin was ready to meet her. I firstly decided to take her home but this place is messier than ever.

We decided to meet at the same cafe around the corner of the street.

As we arrived I caught her in my sight. She was already there. We walk up to her.

I greeted her and she looked a bit stressed or I was just thinking too much.

We took our seats and she decided to start the conversation.

"So Theo, introduce me to your little devil." She smiled.

"Theo you called me a devil." Fin acted furious but amused.

"Hi, I'm Finley Arthur. Theo's caretaker and babysitter." They both chuckled.

"So how did you do it?" Fin asked, "how did you make him sleep? He is one stubborn brat."

"I didn't do anything, it's all his mind and his doing. You know sometimes we're running from the madness rather than going through it. He might this time win over the darkness." She said that looking at me and passed a mild smile.

"You're pretty" Fin compliment her.

"You're a beautiful boy yourself Finny" she replied. "I can call you Finny right?"

"Absolutely!" Fin answered cheerfully.

"Let's order something" I joined the conversation.

"Mango milkshake for me!" Fin blunted

"I'll have normal coffee. And a butter toast." Clara said.

"Okay then" I said and went to counter to order.

I found different person today, as I thought this was Bailey's shift but he wasn't here.

So I placed the order and asked the girl who was covering Bailey's shift,"where's the guy who used to work at this time of the day?"

"He left around twelve took half-day. He sounded worried." She replied.

"Worried?"

"I don't know, that guy is a freak." She blankly replied. I was worried now, what could be the matter with him.

However I was still pissed at him.

I received the order in a short while then went back to our table.

"The jump Harry performed in his back yard caused damages but that was surely a fun sight. We laughed like idiots." Fin was narrating some of his stories and I saw her smiling and giggling at it. It felt different. It felt good seeing her smiling by her heart.

"So what were you telling Clara Finny?" I asked to join the conversation.

"Remember last summer when I, Jamie and Harry were trying to learn back flip?" Fin said.

"Yea vividly, it was hilarious." I joined the laughter.

"So I uh.. want to invite you guys to memorial we are going to organise. This Wednesday." Clara said with little hesitation.

"Memorial what is that mean?" Fin said out of oblivion.

"It is kind of event where we reminiscences the brave souls we've lost in our live. Sending our messages to them. We are organising it for father." Clara kindly explain and we went silent for a little while then Fin said, "we'll be there. I would love to."

"Yes we will." I said.

We laughed and smiled and talked for plenty of time then Clara had a call from her grandmother and she had to go so we went back home.

In our way back home, I collect all the balls or gut I had and asked, "Is that the day? I'm sorry I was just-"

"Yep. I know it's okay." She said avoiding the eye contact.

And I understand what she was going through.

"So if it's okay for you I'll come by your place at night. I want to be there for you." I really did want to part of her pain. I wanted to be there for her.

"Actually, it would be nice. I was going to ask you this but I was kinda embarrassed. Thank you Theo." She passed a little smile of relief.

I came back to my place I found Fin resting on couch watching his favourite cartoon.

I went straight in kitchen and took a glass of water then my phone rang.
And I checked I felt mild rush of anger ran into my nerves because it was Bailey.

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It's unedited. I'm sorry I'll edit it soon.