Seeking SOMNUS

45.

CLARA

I could see myself getting excited like every time. Dad decided to visit the outskirts of town for outings and mum making meal for our sweet little picnic.

On our way to our destination, the road that lead us there seems like heaven. Every possible hurt, every possible pain rest behind and I moved forward into a blissful time.

"This is astonishing. This exist in our town!" Theo wondered in delight. He was stunned by his amazement from the sight front of us.

"It is actually the outskirts of town." The air was cold and the atmosphere was misty. We both were standing at the shore of the most infamous lake at the other end of the town. Lake was glistening under the moon light. The grass at the shore was icy wet and the trees were tall enough to cover the ground with it's shadow. The lake was vast, shiny, at the farther end connecting the sky to its water. It goes further and further in horizon with silver lining at the end of it. The wind was mildly interested in making the atmosphere pure and environment was cold enough to soothe the soul.

I stepped forward and sit comfortably on the half wet and finely grew grassed ground. I didn't think twice for anything and this place welcome me with open arms, here no one's judging me. I could be free in the embrace of nature and in the shelter of my nostalgia.

I could feel the presence of familiar essence in air as I take deep breaths. This place was fresh as new. The night sky hiding my vulnerability with the beauty of it's sparkling stars. The lake was still at the moment and breeze were defining it's shallow.

Theo followed me after observing the and inhaling the entire view.

"I never knew about this place. It's heavenly." Theo mumbled beside me.

I stole a glimpse of him and I smiled crazily though the night around us didn't show it to him. He looked beautiful.

We both sit in peaceful breeze of lake.
Staring blankly at the end of horizon, the beauty was bewitching and I felt liberated under the open sky.

"This is so beautiful and calming." He said living in the moment.

I wanted to embrace every beauty from that night like it was the last one.

"It reminds me of beautiful times. Whenever I am lost in life, I always come here for the answers. Lately I've been thinking about these messed up thoughts and no where out there I find any peaceful place to think it through. So I thought I should come here." I replied wondering if I could get the answers I was looking for.

"This lakeshore is really soothing. Its like something is magical in the air here." He smiled broadly and I adored him.

Then I stood up quickly and take off my outer clothing.

"Hey, what are you doing? It's October c'mon!"Theo screamed in shock.

"C'mon don't be such a fun sucker." I said and I jumped straight into the lake splattered the water on the shore.

"You're insane." He chuckled through the splattered water on his feet.

"Sometimes to find your sanity you got to go little insane." I shouted and swim my way farther in the lake.

I looked around and found him stripping down and slowly stepping into the water. After some mourning in cold he swim towards me.

"It.. its ...dan.. dangerously c.. cold." He stammered through gritted teeth.

"This time you actually didn't stammered cause of your nervousness." I laughed. He joined with his giggle. We stayed in the water for few more minutes, up until the enough chills both of us could tolerate. He was laughing at my madness and I was smiling wholeheartedly for the exquisite human he was. 

The revelation of my realization strick me and in that particular cold, chilling, equally alluring moment, I thought I got the answer I was rummaging around.

"It's freezing... Let's go out." He was literally freezing yet enjoying it enough too. We both swim back to the shore and covered ourselves with our mere clothes. The breeze were still freezing.

"You wanna leave?" I asked after getting dressed completely. Still shivering a little from the cold water.

"Stay a little longer." He pressed his lips in a thin line as if he was hiding something.

"I wanted to show you something. This place does clear the air inside our heads." He whispered in hoarse voice. He took few papers out of his hoodie and handed them over me.

I scrutinized them thoroughly they were some contract papers for some serious business. Probably illegal.

"This man over here," he pointed at the name of one partner in the contract. "He's my father. These are copies, the original paperwork was years and years old. It scared the shit out of me when I found them in that illegal area of the town."

I was stunned by knowing the identity of the person. It shocked me to my core. This was really really dangerous and Theo must be messing himself into all these where he should not.

"What the heck Theo! What more you know and what are you gonna do about it?" I asked directly what came into my mind.

He then told about everything how those fighting were related and what else he figured out yet. He also told me with little low heartedly that how he was going to confront his mother about all these.

"Hey, hey! That would be great. You should talk to her. Tell her everything. Just be honest and clean to her. She is your mom she will understand." I tried to soothe his nerves.

"I also have some questions, I think only she can answer those. You think she will be honest too?" He asked looking down at those papers. I could see the tornado of thoughts and doubts he might be having in his head. The mess must be blurring his straight thinking. Things could be right there in front of him, but due to his own foggy mind, he couldn't see them.

"She will be. You tell her about your trespassing into her office that later cause you the insomnia. She got to tell you guys the truth about your father someday. It's okay you found it on your own. You ask her politely she'll not lie for sure." I consoled him though I was myself not so sure how a person would react in situation like these. As far as I thought I knew her, she is one hell of a fierce lady who work her life off to provide every possible happiness to her sons. She won't lie I had a gut feeling.

"She's returning tomorrow. I think I can now talk to her. I hope." He said looking up at me. His eyes were pouring into mine and I stayed on ground dumbfounded embracing his gaze.

"I.. uh.. we should leave. You go back, take your meds, have rest." My insecurities broke the moment we were having. "Don't think too much into this. It'll be alright." I beamed and got up from the ground unsteadily.

"Yea, let's get going." He said without further mentioning about that minuscule moment and we both made our way to the car.

Then I drove off to his place. In the entire car ride, no one speak anything just being comfortable in company of eachother. Theo was looking outside the window and street lights were flashing his tensed eyes each time they fall on his face.

"It will be alright Theo." I assured him, as we hopped out of the car. He was worried but he was little relaxed too. We walked up to his porch. I hugged him gently and he embraced me back, covering me entirely again in his arms. Then I kissed softly on his cheeks, that kind of turned me red later. He chuckled and kissed my forehead. He bid goodbye and I wished him luck for his conversation with his mother.

I smiled for the last time before I drive off to my same old home. And that night internally cleared my fussy cupboard of my mind, where I was trying to rummaging what I was feeling for this long, that I've never felt before. It was true as blue that I got my feelings sorted, I got my cupboard sorted. I got the answer I was searching for.

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