Seeking SOMNUS

20.

"

Always wished you the best
I, I prayed for your peace
Even if you started this
This whole war in me

"

•••••

"Nana! Oh my god! You scared me" I said turning around rubbing my hand on my chest in surprise.

"Oh dear lord! Clara, I scared you! Whom you're joking? I'm always scared because of you! You didn't sleep last night again. Right?" My Nana, she also lost her only daughter and now she was all I got and I was all she got. I love Nana now more than anything. She sounded concerned and I feel terrible I put her into this situation.

"Nana! I'm fine trust me, I am doing fine day by day. There are lot of things I'm gonna achieve and you'll be there. We all be fine. Everything will be fine." I smiled genuinely.

"Oh my darling! It's been ages since last time I saw you smiling. Hope to lord, it must stay on forever" she came near me as she gently caressed my cheeks.

"I wish too" I replied plainly.

"So you know the date is near. I wanted you to be fine by then, but it's okay love, we'll still make up to it" as she said, smile faded from my face as she just mentioned the most horrible day of my life.

"Yea, I will come to cemetery like every year, perform our prayers and come back home. I'm aware of it." I was here talking about the day my dad died. He was a soldier, the bravest and the strongest. He was a warrior. When I was twelve, doodling on my room's floor like any other day. I had no idea my world got collapsed. He went for a war, the war which didn't have to happen but the government and their bullshit. I read about these years later. And he died on the war ground, as in result of collateral damage, the government announced it. The bloody fucking collateral damage that in real damaged my entire life. Well nobody really gives a damn about it. And this hurts way bad. The next week on Wednesday, was the black day of my life. Like every year, we organise memorial sing prayers in the graveyard where they gave him the huge epitaph for his service in army and died like a hero. With all due respect. But those shits can never bring him back to me. And I just have to live with this fact whatsoever.

Me and nana agreed on the ceremony. And she decided to start the preparations again this soon. But she likes it, she was somehow accepting these all like these just are the part of life. And according to her life can never be fair. For me, these all just as hard as it seems.

She didn't suspect that I might have a person in my room to which I was glad. But as bright I was in the morning, I was no more that cheerful.

Yea I was happy for Theo. He finally slept after about a whole month. But the reality suddenly stricken like a bullet and before Nana's reminder I forgot I was this close to this day. The shit that even hurts more, how could I? How dare I forget?

I went back in the room and found Theo was already awake and freshened up. He was wearing my long sleeve baggy sweater which had a print "bad-ass feminist". I chuckled at his look. He pretended to act he was ashamed but then burst into laughter.

"So I got a message from the babysitter for my brother, my brother is still asleep but I have to go back in an hour. Before he wakes up and crash every thing down to it's last atom." He joked. He was absolutely refreshed.

"Here, I got coffee for you. If you won't mind, you never told me what you like so I made my favourite." I put the coffee cups in front of him. Then I took my seat. Again that time in the morning my mind started brand new thoughts to overthink but there I didn't want spoil his mesmerizing morning.

I discovered seeing him smiling was the key that lighten up the surroundings. But scared little me never wanted to walk on that road.

"So, you slept. Finally. How's that feel like." I took a sip from my cup.

"That was for short period but like I broke the chain or like opened the door. The waves of calmness rushing in my body. I didn't have a dream or I didn't go into deep sleep. But whatever I had was enough for brighten up my day. And probably the upcoming days too." He sounded so much happier. And the solace he had was just perfect. "Did you sleep? You did right!"

Holy god! Here came the trouble. I couldn't take away his pleasurable morning. So I decided to lie.

"Hey!" He waved at my face.

"Yea yea! Yeah I did. I did sleep. I can't say well. But I did sleep whatsoever." I straight face lied. I wasn't in stress whole night but I didn't sleep either.

"This was the best night ever." He said out of excitement. And I smiled. This time I properly faked it. But he didn't seem to notice. It was good.

"So I should be get going. Tell me you'll be fine. And I'll be just one call away. Call me straight if you need anything." He said as stood up.

"Clara, you know there were the times when this whole world is drifting apart and I fail to grab it together. But there is one person I could always rely on. Who actually doesn't know how to solve anything but I always feel home all the way. He's my little brother Finley. He's just ten but he knows how to handle me more than any adult." He gave me unasked information but I chuckled softly. Then he added, "So if it wouldn't be a problem to you, I want you to meet him. He's a little devil but the devil you'll surely love." He asked me out of nowhere. And I would be more than pleased to meet him.

"Yea sure. I would love to meet him."

We hugged goodbye then he climbed down the window, headed towards his home. He turned, waved at me then he was gone within few minutes after the longest night ever.

_____________________________

Alright a question, what you guys want? Do you want it to be long enough, like more 10 to 15 chapters or just 5 more and finish it as a short story as I started in the first place?

Please write down the views! Thankyou