The Life of a Cat

3. About a war with green and lots of patience

There's always a Sun that someone does something that ruins everything. This does exist... At least for cats. I guess it doesn't exist for humans. Humans always have the best part in life.

In my case, this was a Sun where it did not rain, luckily, perfect for jumping outside while Dad studies the grey paper roll. A Sun you could run outside, catch a bird, have Mike spilling water out of his eyes, run back inside, and cuddle up innocently in your basket. A Sun where everyone is more relaxed and doesn't watch you as closely. A perfect Sun for cats living with humans.

But on every perfect Sun, there's something that ruins it all. It lurks in every corner, just waiting for the moment in which you enjoy life the most to jump up. In my case, it was a green piece of fabric that humans wear. A "shirt", as they call it.

Mom came down the stairs, like every Sun. She sat at the table, like every Sun. I was half asleep, like every Sun. And then I saw it.

Sometimes you see something and you're clueless about it. Sometimes you see something and you think it's going to bring good. Sometimes you know it's going to bring bad luck. That was one of those things.

Mom wore a green piece of fabric. And cats hate green. Our eyes are green, I know. But we hate green. I do know that sounds weird. But it's like that. You can't ignore the facts.

Humans always do that. They won't believe what's right in front of their eyes. It's a fact that I hate those little pieces of hard blocks they give me every Sun. It's a fact I need more pillows in my basket. It's a fact I love fish and catching birds. But humans ignore all that.

Humans are basically stupid. I know that's the whole point of this book, but if you repeat it, it sinks in. Like with those little moving images that Dad always looks at. It always says the same thing. I guess at some point it sinks in.

So Mom wore this green piece of fabric. And you know what cats do when they hate something? That's right. They declare war on it. And they destroy it.

I declared war. I wanted to destroy it.
Unfortunately, the victim had a big bodyguard called Mom. So I had to wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. You know how humans take their pieces of fabric off at night and put some others on? That's what she did. She had another yellow shirt underneath, but Cats do not hate yellow, so I did not attack it.

I did what every normal cat would do when the victim is defenceless: I pounced on it, sunk my teeth in it and didn't let go. Well... I tried not to let go. Which didn't work. Because Mom pounced on me and grabbed my neck skin -- which, by the way, really did hurt. I still have a bruise -- and she didn't let go.

I think it's really stupid to let humans live with cats. Humans are way stronger than cats. Humans can do whatever they want to cats. Who decided that? Probably a human. Humans are selfish. Like Mike. He always takes the last piece of fish.

Thankfully, that ugly green shirt is still shredded. I hope it learned its lesson.

***

This chapter is dedicated to Legc9914 . She's my IRL friend, has written a fanfiction/sequel to the Life of a Cat, and was one of the first to read my story. Thank you.