It's me again, the Cat. And today, something quite bad happened. You want to hear? Ok, let's go. Don't complain if I'm boring you.
Mom decided today that "we will do a Christmas cleaning!" I didn't think this would be so bad. She usually only takes a piece of fabric and swipes it over every single item in the whole house. Kind of annoying, but isn't everything humans do annoying?
Well, today, she took something looking like a giant metal bug out of the little cupboard no one looks in, pressed a button and the bug started buzzing. Mom swiped the big body of the bug over the floors of the house and it sucked everything up, even a little piece of forgotten fish, that I would have liked to eat.
She took the bug buzzing right next to me and my ears almost exploded. My poor, poor ears. Nobody ever takes thought that I might be there and that I just might not like this.
Then she gave Mike the piece of fabric and told him to "dust the furniture", whatever that means. She also went to my basket and had the nerve to take my one and only pillow and put it in the big-box-that-takes-the-smell-off-everything and when my pillow came out, it smelled like bird poop. Disgusting.
And Dad cleaned my basket all out and used the metal bug to suck out my hair that fell off. That's just rude.
Mike can sometimes be the most annoying person. I sat on my wonderful chair, that had first been taken by Sweetie. To get it, I had to, first of all, scratch Sweetie on his tail, second of all, hiss at his nose, third of all, push him down. Easy steps? Not so much.
I sat on my wonderfully warm chair and guess what? Mike decided to come swipe the fabric over this one and exact chair I was sitting on. Couldn't he have chosen another chair? No, of course not, he had to come torture me. And cats are always the ones suffering.
When Mom was swiping the fabric last time, Dad was sitting on the chair she wanted to clean. And did she scream at him and push him down, like Mike did to me? No, of course not, she asked him kindly if he could sit somewhere else.
I would have complained to the Cat Judges about this injustice, but I don't think that they can organize trials for humans.
When Mike was finally finished with cleaning my chair, and I suspect that he took longer with my chair than with the others, he said: "Ok, the Cat, you gotta be friends with Sweetie there cause he's nice (well you're not but yeah...) and you live in the same house so you gotta cooperate ok?"
No, not ok. Not ok at all.
Sweetie obviously understood too, since he jumped on me and began licking my face. I told him "I know licking is good but not you on me, that's only what couples do. And I love Myrow, not you! So get outta my face!" and I hissed at him.
Mike had to explain. He said that licking was an affection mark for dogs.
Ah! See, I knew it! It's an affection mark for Cats too! It means that you care enough about someone to clean their fur.
"It means he wants to be your friend," Mike added.
Well, I don't want to be his, so that won't work, will it?
So yeah. Sweetie just took my chair so I have to wrestle him down. I'll see you when I've finished.
***
Dedication to TellMeADream, who, in my opinion, writes some of the best Historical Fiction books on Wattpad.
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The Life of a Cat
Humor[Humour / Adventure] This is the story of a cat. A simple cat. Only a cat that's not important and that no one looks at twice. A cat that is intelligent and that wants some recognition. A cat that tells his perspective on human lives. A cat that o...
