The Life of a Cat

8. About a moving room and some blue fabric

Mom and Dad, one Night, announced we would adopt a dog. Mike jumped up and down from joy. "But we will keep the Cat" Mom said. Mike fell back on his chair, grumbling. I, of course, meowed furiously and scratched Dads leg. Sadly, nobody understood me and everybody pushed me away. Sniff. Poor little me.

We all went together to a big house like ours, that Mom and Dad called "Shelter" . Dad explained that it was a house for lost and unwanted animals. He also said they got me from one of those shelters. You might now be thinking : "oh, why does the Cat complain so much? His family saved him from the streets and the shelter and he's still complaining! "

You're wrong. The humans went to the Forest and ripped me and my friends out of the Cave, our home. Then they gave us to some other humans, I know now those were from the Shelters. Mom, Dad, and Mike don't have any any fault in that, I know that. But first of all, I wasn't on the streets, second of all, I preferred the Forest to the Shelter and my house, third of all, I wasn't lost or unwanted. Everyone back in the Forest liked me.

Of course, not everyone liked me, but can't a Cat sweeten their life a bit?

We used a moving room of metal with four round objects underneath it to get there. These objects turned because some kind of unknown force pushed the room forward and they rolled.
I had to get into my carrying basket, and as always, I fought. And for once, I won.

I ran around the house with Dad just behind me trying to catch me, until I jumped in the 'garbage'. It was an accident, alright? Not my fault. I'm not that disgusting. Um...I'm not disgusting at all, actually.
Dad apparently thought that was too dirty for his clean human paws and stopped trying to get me into my basket.

Though, I decided to get into it anyway. I kind of wanted to see that dog.

No, I believe you are mistaken. I did not want to be friends with him; I was simply curious.

Yes, curiosity killed the Cat; but I'm way too powerful for it.

Mom rang the little metallic button on the door and someone opened it. That person called herself Zara and and welcomed us.

Zara said: "Now, what are you looking for? We have some beautiful cats, maybe a bit more charming than your old grumpy fella here..."
Wait what? Did she just say I'm not charming? And I'm not beautiful? Well, I'll show you, Zara!
And I scratched her. But she wore that thick blue piece of fabric. It's impossible to pierce through that, even with teeth and claws as pointy and sharp as mine are.

Dad, though, said: "No, we need a dog, we like our Cat as he is, thank you. "
Thank you, Dad!

"We have some cute little puppies, too, of all kinds! Labradors, pugs, poodles, Shih Tzus, German Shepherds..." Zara added, quickly. She seemed kind of desperate to get Dad and Mom to take a dog.

"No", Dad answered, "we would prefer an already trained adult dog."

"I have the purr-fect thing for you, then! See the pun there?"

Zara, that joke is over-used, thank you very much.

"A fully grown beagle, sweet, trained, has never bitten anybody, can learn tricks, loves kids, and is very tolerant of any beginner's mistakes you might commit!"

I hope he'll want to fight with me.

"We take it!" Mike screamed.

"For once, I agree with you, Mike" Mom said.
"This dog sounds perfect for us" Dad added.

No! Why the cat did you have to do this to me!

But Mom and Dad bought some dog food, a dog basket, a dog travelling basket, a dog brush, dog shampoo, a dog pillow and a dog blanket.

At least he doesn't have more pillows than I have.

We took the metal room back home and Mom had the sleeping dog in its giant travelling basket. She let him out and the sleepy beagle, right away, jumped on my favorite chair.
Not nice, that. Not nice.

I wanted to fight with him. So I went to him and scratched his back. In Cat language, this means "I challenge you to fight me and the winner gets the sunnier space"

He opened one eye, barked at me, and went back to sleep.

"You don't just refuse a challenge like that!" I told him. But I don't think he understood. Dogs are so stupid, they don't understand anything.
I scratched his ear. This means "if you don't accept this time, you'll be disgraced from the Cat Community for all time!"
Although I guess he cannot be disgraced from the Cat Community since he is not a Cat. Hm. I will need to think about that.

He opened the other eye, barked at me, and went back to sleep.

I was about to jump on him and scratch his eyes out but Mike came to rescue him and threw me on the least comfortable chair in the whole house. It hurt my back very badly.

Very mean, that. Very mean.

I heard a squeal from the other room and decided to go check if anyone needed my help. Nobody did.

Mike was squealing. "Oh my God he is so sweet! What shall we name him?"

Well, what about PoopFace? Or OneEye? Or WillSoonBeKilledBecauseOfNonRespect?

Of course not. Mike suggested Mike Junior. Dad suggested Killer. But Mom had the chosen idea. She suggested Sweetie.

Wow. Sweetie. What a original name. I totally like it.

Of course, I can still call him PoopFace.

***

This is dedicated to @TheBrokenCrayon7, she wrote a  wonderful story about her life with synesthesia.