You know, when humans go outside for a long time, they always call another human to watch their human kit. I don't understand that. Then again, I don't understand anything about humans. My parents always left me alone. It was actually pretty cool, staying alone like that. That was how I met my first love. Her name was Myrow. A wonderful name for a young cat like her. Everyone talked about us as the prettiest couple ever seen. Myoyow and Myrow... I loved her so much. I wish I could be with her instead...
No. Who cares about her? I'm here now. That's what counts. I've forgotten all about her.
In my case, Mom and Dad wanted to go out on a dark, full moon night. They told me and Mike they would be going out "on a date to the restaurant". Whatever you say, Mom and Dad.
And you know what? Dad used that thing that looks like a banana and talked into it to a human named Josie and said "Oh how nice of you Josie" and "Oh that's not necessary Josie" and "Well if you insist Josie" and things like that. Boring. And simply unfair. He never speaks like that to me, because I'm just a cat!
The trick is, he only uses that weird thingy when he really needs something. That means he really needed Josie. Brilliant cat logic. Don't freak out, it's normal. I'm not a genius or anything. No pictures, please!
So Josie came. And Josie was wearing a green shirt. And if you've read the previous story...wait what? You haven't? You don't read all my stories? Pff. And you call yourself a "Cat" reader!
Anyway, Josie was wearing a green shirt. And just like all cats, I. HATE. GREEN. That's what I was saying in my previous story. You know what that means? It means that since Josie obviously likes green, I have to declare war on her.
So I pounced on her. But unlike Mom when she wore the green shirt, Josie just shook me off. And said "Oh look how cute this little cat is! He likes me already!"
In your dreams I'll like you, moron.
Then Josie walked through the door. And made her next mistake. She tripped over me.
Unforgivable.
What do you do when someone trips over you? You aren't much at risk, you're a human. But I scratched her leg. Hard. And you know what Josie did? She patted me on the head - patted me on the head. Yes, she patted me on the head. - and said "I've had many cat scratches lately, since I have two cats myself".
Pff. I'll give you more scratches than them, because I'm so much better.
Then Josie decided to show me who's boss. She put her arms around Dad and Mom and said "goodbye". I screamed loudly to tell Dad and Mom to not leave me alone with Mike and Josie, but Josie only laughed and said "Well there you see how happy he is to stay with me! Cats love me. They always do. "
I suddenly realized what Josie's real aim was. To take over the world. And the supper dish.
I screamed at Mike to tell him Josie's real goal. But he only tapped me on the head.
I am a misunderstood cat.
I'm going to go to sleep. To try to forget Josie. But I'll be back. To battle Josie and her evil army.
***
This chapter is dedicated to Xsupergirlovex for being an awesome friend and for supporting this story :)
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The Life of a Cat
Humor[Humour / Adventure] This is the story of a cat. A simple cat. Only a cat that's not important and that no one looks at twice. A cat that is intelligent and that wants some recognition. A cat that tells his perspective on human lives. A cat that o...
