Yeppers, I've been sleeping for a long time. And you know what the best hint for that it? Its Mike coming to wake you up because he wants to play. Goddammit Mike. I'm too big of a cat to play, ugh. Go ask Mrow or something. He'll probably say nope, since he's not polite. Or will he? He still is my friend...
Damn. I need to stop being such a little kit. And I need to stop being so confusing. You, dear reader, are never going to understand if I don't.
Mike came to play with me. The best answer to that is a punch in the face. Unfortunately, I did not have a cactus at hand to punch him with. So I just scratched him. Apparently, it was the wrong answer, since Mike just held my paw back. Ugh. Can this Bob never learn? I. Do. Not. Want. To. Play. With. You.
He still just took me in his arms like humans do to little kits, and brought me outside. He showed me some steps in the mud.
"Look, those are the little cats steps. Aren't they cute? You should walk like that. Would be better."
Wait what in the freaking hell of the Unmighty Dog? He didn't want to PLAY with me?? He wanted to show me Myrow's footsteps??
I'm sorry, that's just weird. Really weird. Dog-weird. Like Sweetie, also known as PoopFace, OneEye, WillSoonBeKilledBecauseOfNonRespect, or Bum. He's weird.
Actually, Myrow is kinda cute. She is.
She is, ok? Live with it.
Then Mike randomly picked me back up and brought me inside. All those temperature changes have effects on my nerves, Mike. It's bad.
He put me down in front of a fake mouse. He said "ok, so this is a mouse."
Well, I mean duh it's a mouse. I might be stupid but not that much.
Actually, forget what I just said. I'm super intelligent.
Then he proceeded to educate me about how this mouse is fake.
Goddamn. Of course it's fake. It's made out of...um, hard material. Yep, I just said that.
Then he said: "I, the human, shall throw the mouse, and you, the dog um cat, shall run after it."
Yes, because totally I'm a dog. Don't you know only dogs do this kind of stuff? I didn't know you were that much of an idiot. Plus, even Mryoyow's ego is smaller than yours. "I, the human" Pff. You just stupid.
Solution to everything? Run away.
Problem to this solution? Mike catches you.
That's what happened this time. Mike grabbed me from behind and sat me in front of the mouse.
"Now, you, the Cat, shall actually run after this mouse."
Well nope I won't. I growled loudly to show him.
He just shushed me.
I hate being shushed.
So I ran away a second time. And Mike, being a human, was surprised by me doing that and didn't come after me. But I guess it won't be long until he does.
I think I'll go hide now. I'll see you when Mike gives up.
***
dedicated to ADYHowle for being an awesome friend :)
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The Life of a Cat
Humor[Humour / Adventure] This is the story of a cat. A simple cat. Only a cat that's not important and that no one looks at twice. A cat that is intelligent and that wants some recognition. A cat that tells his perspective on human lives. A cat that o...
